the_bell_jar
If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.
Entries 389
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12/25/05 in Victim of Society
I'm tired of waiting for his phone calls. Waiting for him to be ready to be in a relationship. Always fucking waiting for a guy?! that is no way to live life. but then again what else is there ...
12/20/05 in Victim of Society
1 Plagued with anxiety. Living in this society. This whole generation Wish I can live in hibernation. Chlorine filled minds Morphine addicted shrines. Eliminate this waste Wash out the bitter ...
12/17/05 in Victim of Society
So I hung out on evergreen and saw damir which was pretty cool because I mostly only knew the dude online. Then he bought me a 40 for my birthday and I got pretty drunk. I went home and then Eddi...
12/16/05 in Victim of Society
So yea TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. I am finally fucking 18 YEARS OLD! well its about 6:45 and im pretty drunk i just got back from evergreen and DAMIR WAS THERE! it was so weird but fun he bought me a ...
12/11/05 in Victim of Society
As of right now December 11th, 2005 I am feeling: Sad because tomorrow will be exactly one year since Josh died. I am going to go to school but I might just leave early so I can go to the cemeta...
12/10/05 in Victim of Society
Well yesterday I was in a pretty shitty mood. I still can not believe I am less then a week away of being 18. Everyone told me it wasn't a big deal but I have seriously been waiting so longgggggg...
12/03/05 in Victim of Society
molest v 1: harass or assault sexually; make indecent advances to Last night I got home from a party and I was pretty drunk. I saw my brother was sleeping on the couch and noticed no one was in...
11/29/05 in Victim of Society
Tonight was very nice. Last night was very exciting. Things are going good. So last night at around 8 I went over to Eddie's and hung out with him and his roomates downstairs watching TV. Then w...
11/27/04 in Victim of Society
People are so wrapped up in all of their own petty problems that no one sees the real picture anymore. Perfect example would be me.....So I finally realize that all these guy problems are dumb an...
11/25/05 in Victim of Society
Well whenever my whole family gets together there are always at least one big fight. Last night we got two. My cuzin gary is cheating on his wife Niki and he has 2 little kids and like Gary never...
11/21/05 in Victim of Society
It's amazing how brilliant the Indians were. Nowadays everyone is stupid. We get everything handed to us, everything is so easy compared to when Indians were around. We want a toothbrush....we go...
11/19/05 in Victim of Society
Yesterday me and Andrea hung out and it was so friking scary we were seeing all these signs. First sign was the license plate it said "Ash Man" And that was nick name in like 9th-10th grade. Then...
11/16/05 in Victim of Society
November 16th-------Full Moon!!! AND 30 more days till im fucking 18!!! If you didn't notice by my diary title I have been waiting for 18 for so fucking long and it's almost here it's scary. Anyw...
11/10/05 in Victim of Society
Well tonight was fucking weird as hell. I'm still kinda in a dazed state of mind. At work this new girl Ashley works there and at first I was like man I do not want to work with ANOTHER girl...bu...
11/7/05 in Victim of Society
"Retrograde Mars squares nebulous Neptune today, symbolizing our lack of resolve. Confusion can take the wind out of our sails. The present uncertainty may have started at the end of August, when...
10/29/05: Art Gallery in Santa Monica in Victim of Society
Yesterday, Margot and I went to Santa Monica and got there around 4. We went shopping in all these cute shops and thrift stores. I got a little case that holds matches and a shirt with see-throug...
10/27/05 in Victim of Society
It's so weird how close me and Eddie have gotten this past few weeks. Who would have known, in the end me and him would be together? I never even thought of me being with Eddie back in the days w...
10/24/05 in Victim of Society
This weekend was adequite. I stayed up too late Friday and Saturday and didn't get to sleep till like 4 in the morning. So Sunday I was all super hung over and tired and I had to wake up early to...
10/16/05 in Victim of Society
Well as you probably know, most of my days are depressing but today was ULTRA super DUPER fucking DE-PRESS-ING. UGH! It all started when I woke up and watched Crazy/Beautiful. I got all depressed...
10/14/05: Poems in Victim of Society
Careless Pills Pills are my life Pills are my friend Pills can make me happy Pills can make me sad Look look mommy, I took 4 on the head! Pills can destroy Pills can annoy Pills can empower emot...
10/13/05 in Victim of Society
I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again I just want to feel deep in my own world But I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore On a different day, ...
10/10/05 in Victim of Society
This weekend was fun. Friday I had to work and when I got off I was in this depressed mood for some reason. I needed something, anything to get me out of the mood I was in. I couldn't stand anoth...
10/7/05 in Victim of Society
71 more days until im 18! Then I will never have to have anyone buy me cigarettes ever again! And I won't be "Jail Bait" anymore! I'm so excited!!! Eddie wants to hang out with me the day after ...
10/5/05 in Victim of Society
I hate being a senior. I mean I don't even know what Im going to be majoring in and college is NEXT year. At first I thought I would just major in english but EW I hate english!!! I think I'll ma...
10/4/05 in Victim of Society
Step forward--your dreaming. Step back--a swift kick in the ass By your past That lingers on Like indigestion........... I was talking to my cousin Faye today and she totally thinks I still lik...
