the_bell_jar
If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.
Entries 389
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Out of this world in The Wanderer
That is where my thoughts have been.....Today after the horrible DMV, I got some drinks with Damion and then I went to the philosophy group. It was quite an interesting conversation and it is nic...
Limbo in The Wanderer
Here I am lingering in limbo. Sometimes I feel like I have so much to say and so much to do in this world, and other times I feel like I have absolutely nothing. I'm tired of my mind. This sounds...
Thoughts and nothing. in The Wanderer
I realize I have a lot of desires to be wild, but no avenue to pursue. I suppose that is a good thing. There is always something that holds me back. Mainly, it is the inability to get anywhere kn...
IV in Languid Contentment
PAST Jake had let me crash with him for awhile in Paradise. We both were making some good money with our art and we had quite a few shows lined up in various galleries all along the Oregon ...
4/29/14 in The Wanderer
Today I worked a closing shift and made 200 bucks! I had to tip out 70 of it though, but still...walking with 130 on a Tuesday is good. I think I prefer week night closing shifts because I have w...
Bottle of Captain in The Wanderer
Saturday night this guy I work with invited me to Shamrock's to see his band play. I asked Peter if he wanted to go and he said his gf would be picking him up and that he would meet me there. I e...
III. in Languid Contentment
PRESENT "Lexy?" “Hey! LEX! Snap out of it!” Johnny had set his guitar down and was staring directly at me. “You know, you really freak me out when you zone out like that.” “So...
II. in Languid Contentment
PAST I was seventeen when I first found Paradise, a small town just past the California border and into Oregon. I left home that summer vowing to never turn back. With an ounce of weed, my favo...
I. in Languid Contentment
PRESENT Charlie was on one his drunken rampages, stumbling around cursing and breaking anything within reach. I had retreated to the bedroom and locked the door when I knew he had hit the bottl...
II in The Wanderer
PAST I was seventeen when I first found Paradise, a small town just past the California border and into Oregon. I left home that summer vowing to never turn back. With an ounce of weed, my favor...
Random nights in The Wanderer
I live for nights like this I swear! So I went out with those two guys who I met at YH the other night. Damion picked me up and we went to some bar. We were having a very interesting conversation...
"If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed" in The Wanderer
-SP WELL. I broke the news to D's friend at work and I am pretty sure the word is finally out. It is definitely tricky to make sure it's known that I want an NSA without sounding like a slut or ...
April 17th, 2014 in The Wanderer
I've basically been working a lot and not doing much else, but I did get two days off in a row this week! Yesterday I hung out with Orlando at our usual spot and then went to therapy....there is ...
Out and about in The Wanderer
I went out with this guy Arthur the other night. I met him at Drea's wedding, he was the photographer. He seemed like a really nice guy, definitely not my type, but someone positive that would be...
Thoughts in The Wanderer
Every Wednesday is the day I meet up with Orlando in Claremont to discuss philosophical topics. Yesterday we talked about obtaining the ultimate conscious and how many people believe the consciou...
A night out in The Wanderer
The other night I got out of work around 10 and Peter invited me to get some beers with him....he told me he would pick me up in 20 minutes so I was waiting for him at my apartment.....an hour pa...
First shift in The Wanderer
Last night was my first alone shift. I was out on the patio and it was pretty busy. It was somewhat overwhelming because the table systems are crazy there and my section was mid patio and they ke...
Pranic healing in The Wanderer
I went to this pranic healing session last night and was there for three hours! It was a long, detailed workshop and I learned a lot. I was a bit of a skeptic, until I started feeling like energy...
Alone in The Wanderer
Well things have been getting better in some aspects, but also getting worse in some aspects. Rodney left to go back to Massachusetts yesterday. He couldn't handle our living situation, especiall...
Waiting for my life to begin in The Wanderer
The one thing about constantly changing your life is the time period between ending an old life and the beginning of a new life. It takes a lot out of your Self to start fresh constantly, but lik...
Really? in The Wanderer
I came "home" from a nice two days away from this place and the Douche is here. (The sperm donor) only to announce he is moving in whether I like it or not. That turned into a screaming match aga...
Psychotherapy in The Wanderer
Since I'm back in Cali, and a lot of my friends have since moved away from the general area, I have joined a few MeetUps. I attended a meeting for a psychotherapy group last night and I went in w...
Moving forward without looking back in The Wanderer
The difficult part is all the bullshit I've had to deal with in California for many years. The scariest was the drugs. Yes I've had my own stint with certain drugs in the past but I'm far past th...
The roadtrip 2014 in The Wanderer
I left Massachusetts on the 12th and it is now the 23! The days literally flew by and I lost track of time, which is a great feeling. Waking up every day in a different state is amazing! I have g...
going away party in The Wanderer
Wow where do I begin? We started at V's house with a bottle of wine and she got me the cutest going away gift- a friendship box and a very nice card. We toasted and R and I worked on our canvas w...
