Entries 151
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3/12/06
Having such a fucking blast on Thursday, it was hard to cope with this lame ass weekend which involved nothing but me working then going home and sleeping. Well Margot and me were going to go to...
3/9/06
Thursday March 9th- my first time at a club. It was sooooooooo fun! Margot and I wanted to go to the cellar so we got all dressed up and got there only to find out it was booooooring. So we were...
3/5/06
OMFG. Last night was incredible. One of the most fun nights I have ever had thank god because I needed another night I can call FUN that out-beat that rave party night. Margot and I dressed up an...
3/2/05
Why is it that I always seem to be waiting for something? Waiting for someone to come into my life, waiting for something to happen, waiting for a good change to occur. I don't know why I'm waiti...
2/25/05
Today I opened and was off at 2 but had to go back to work at 5. So while I was the opening manager, I seriously did everything on the list before christiane came in plus made extra dough and ext...
2/23/06: San Diego Trip
andrea and i went to san diego a week ago and stayed in a motel 6. it was a lot of fun and all kinds of funny shit happened like TYRON knockin on our door, the funny pictures, the tarot card read...
2/8/06
So Eddie has been calling me and texting me and stuff. I went over his house today and me him and matt bailey all got super stoned. We were all just laughing and I was watching them play video ga...
2/5/2006
775 bucks saved up. Damn I am so proud of myself. I really have never had this much money saved up dude it just reminds me how much closer I am to leaving here and going on this ROADTRIP! I have...
2/2/06
Ok so I go into work and Andrea calls me telling me she got hit by a car walking down some alley and that she might be bleeding internally. So I was just freaking out thinking about what if she d...
1/29/06
Well so much for going 16 days without a cigarette. I couldn't even go one.... Friday was a bit more exciting than my last couple Friday's have been. After work I decided to take a different way...
1/27/06
Chrissy's funeral was really nice. It makes me wonder what mine will be like when I die. I hope something like that. I was thinking about it alot, my funeral. I thought about who would come. I wo...
1/23/06: R.I.P Chrissy
Well Chrissy died. It was just so random, just like Josh's death and it leaves me wondering who is next? I feel like life is just one sick joke. I'm sick of people trying to get sympathy out of ...
1/17/06
Sagittarius: (November 22 - December 21) This is the year to plan the big trip you have always wanted. Being the sign associated with long-distance travel, you should feed your desire to see the ...
1/15/06
Mom always told me weed was a very bad thing, and that if I ever smoked it and she found out she would send me to rehab. Hearing that as a child, made me scared and believed weed was a terrible t...
1/12/06: Essay
In 1995, O.J. Simpson was found not-guilty of murdering his wife, Nicole Brown. Although, most evidence seemed to prove Simpson guilty, the jury believed otherwise. In some cases, such as Meursau...
1/02/06
"I always feel guitly about selling MDMA" That was Matt Hadsell's headline on myspace. UGH I feel so bad I wish things didnt have to turn out this way. But they did and I havent been that happy ...
12/30/05: Jeremy
Well tonight was nice. After work I went to CK cafe with Fabian and met up with Jeremy and his friends. We kept like staring at eachother and flirting and his leg kept rubbing up against mine. Af...
12/28/05
Eddie just ignored me all christmas eve/day and did not even want to see me, never called me back when he said he would. I was beyond pissed/frustrated/sad/etc. Finally I just called him and left...
12/25/05
I'm tired of waiting for his phone calls. Waiting for him to be ready to be in a relationship. Always fucking waiting for a guy?! that is no way to live life. but then again what else is there ...
12/20/05
1 Plagued with anxiety. Living in this society. This whole generation Wish I can live in hibernation. Chlorine filled minds Morphine addicted shrines. Eliminate this waste Wash out the bitter ...
12/17/05
So I hung out on evergreen and saw damir which was pretty cool because I mostly only knew the dude online. Then he bought me a 40 for my birthday and I got pretty drunk. I went home and then Eddi...
12/16/05
So yea TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. I am finally fucking 18 YEARS OLD! well its about 6:45 and im pretty drunk i just got back from evergreen and DAMIR WAS THERE! it was so weird but fun he bought me a ...
12/11/05
As of right now December 11th, 2005 I am feeling: Sad because tomorrow will be exactly one year since Josh died. I am going to go to school but I might just leave early so I can go to the cemeta...
12/10/05
Well yesterday I was in a pretty shitty mood. I still can not believe I am less then a week away of being 18. Everyone told me it wasn't a big deal but I have seriously been waiting so longgggggg...
12/03/05
molest v 1: harass or assault sexually; make indecent advances to Last night I got home from a party and I was pretty drunk. I saw my brother was sleeping on the couch and noticed no one was in...
Book Description
This book contains entries taken from my very first OD created in 2004.
“My name is Natalie Caroline.
I am 23 years old and have had this online journal for 7 years now. It has grown up with me and has recorded every good and every bad memory I have experienced these past few years.
All the tears.
All the laughs.
The fights, the awkward moments.
I can look back on entries and cry.
I can look back on entries and laugh at how foolish I was.
It’s amazing what a bunch of words typed down can make me do.
But every entry had a story behind it, hundreds of entries that will always remind me of my past.
This is a journal I can never let go of, and never share with besides with those who have been there from the beginning.
It will always be there to remind me of how much I have grown and changed.
Remind me of my hopes and dreams.
Remind me to keep going on because I have made it this far.
But most of all, with this journal, I have the power to go back in time…
“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. ” ~ Nietzsche
