the_bell_jar
If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.
Entries 389
Page 7 of 16
6/20/05 in Victim of Society
Well yesterday I was in a really bad mood all day. I had this bad feeling about Craig and I told him about it and he was like no Im fine and I was like oh ok then. But I still had that feeling. E...
6/19/05 in Victim of Society
Yesterday was one of those boring days of my life. I had to drive in a car with my parents out to Temecula which is about 2 hours away, sit through traffic, just to go to this old couple's 50th a...
6/16/05 in Victim of Society
Everythings been so weird lately. Like I don't even know who my true friends are anymore and I feel pretty much alone. Lately Ive been trying to figure out everything. Like my true feelings, true...
6/9/05: Craig's friends in Victim of Society
Well today at work when Craig came in, I seriously fell in love with him all over again. It was so weird. He looked soooo amazingly hot. Like even hotter then before. And he was being so sweet an...
6/8/05 in Victim of Society
I was reading an old diary and it was back when I first started working at CPK. Most of the entries were about how much I liked Matt and then gradually fewer and fewer were about Matt and at the ...
6/3/05 in Victim of Society
So last night at Matt's show it seemed pretty fucking obvious he still loves Miki and I was just the girl on the side while she was out of town. But now that shes back I'm just history. I asked i...
5/30/05 in Victim of Society
I can't believe myself. Me and Craig hung out on Friday night and just ended up drinking and talking for 3 hours up at look out point. I ended up telling him that i rolled with a guy and that I ...
5/24/05 in Victim of Society
Isn't it ironic how Craig was the one that got me over Matt and now Matt's the one that got me over Craig? Me and Matt have been so close lately hanging out everynight. We haven't kissed yet or a...
5/22/05: The Rave in Victim of Society
On Friday, at around midnight, Matt finally came to pick me up to go to the rave. I was scared but super excited. He told me he just came back from his girlfriends and that she was being a bitch ...
5/15/05: Virginity in Victim of Society
Well I lost my virginity in the back seat of my car last Saturday with a guy I had known for about an hour. Anyways, we didn't use protection and I'm freaking out that I have AIDs or something. E...
5/3/05 in Victim of Society
"Everyone I love goes away in the end." Well yesterday at work was one of the most awkward days of my life. This girl I've known for awhile told me she was bisexual like a year ago. Me and her u...
5/1/05: Party with Matt in Victim of Society
Well Friday I REALLY wanted to do something fun instead of sit around at my house with all my friends playing pool and stuff. Margot called me and was like "were coming over now" and i was like "...
4/21/05 in Victim of Society
Well I finally broke it off with Steve so I could be free to roam. I don't know why I was trying to prove to myself I could be in a relationship when it is obvious I can't. So of course Davey wan...
4/6/05 in Victim of Society
Well I am officially with Steve exclusively. I don't really want to be but I feel like I have to, to prove to myself that I am capible of holding a steady relationship. I don't know why but whene...
3/30/05 in Victim of Society
Well I still am not sure if me and Steve are like boyfriend/girlfriend. But I'm pretty sure we are. He just never officially asked me out...I guess older guys don't usualy ask girls out though i ...
3/19/05 in Victim of Society
Yesterday was supposed to be a fun night but instead turned into one of the most boringest Fridays I've had in a long time. Both Wednesday and Thursday night I hung out with Steve at his house un...
3/15/05: Matt's band in Victim of Society
Ive been pretty busy lately so I haven't been on here in so long. I havent even written in my journals recently and I usually alwasy update those things...well ne waz...right now I have a list of...
2/9/05 in Victim of Society
Well it's not raining anymore. I swear, only in Cali is it 40 degrees and raining one day and then 85 degrees and sunny the next..lame. Yesterday was Margot's birthday and me, her, mike, cheif(m...
1/31/05 in Victim of Society
Kyle was scarying me so much today at work it sucked. I dont want to ever work alone with him again. No he wasnt doing sexual stuff you perverts haha. He was just being mean. Giving me really bad...
1/23/05 in Victim of Society
It all started off Friday night when I went to a party in Diamond Bar with Margot. We met up with Jen and her friend Matt. After the band, they were all hungry so we decided to go to Carl's Jr. W...
1/6/2005 in Victim of Society
It's not fucking fair. Why did he have to die!?!? He was one of my best friends!! I HATE THIS WORLD. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this out of my diary. JOSH DIED LAST DECEMBER. Im so mad rig...
1/2/2005 in Victim of Society
IM SO GLAD 2004 IS OVER WITH!!!!!!!!! So much bad/sad things have happened since my last entry that I don't even know if I want to get into. I'm just going to not type all those things that happ...
11/23/04 in Victim of Society
Andrea got a job at my work!! So now I wont be stuck with only working with the dumb matt. The cool matt mite quit! omg id be so sad! why cant the dumb one quit :( Eddie mite quit too. Jason qui...
11/15/2004: Arizona in Victim of Society
Well last Thursday and Friday we had off so me and the family went to Arizona. We took a plane and my cousin, aunt and grandma came to. We landed in Phoenix and stayed in a hotel in Scottsdale. W...
10/10/04: Kickback with CPKers in Victim of Society
Yesterday after work I was pretty pissed off again because no one could hang out. Heather was going to do CCC with me but no0o0o her cousins had to come over and so she had to go home. So I just ...
