10/7/05 in Victim of Society

71 more days until im 18!

Then I will never have to have anyone buy me cigarettes ever again! And I won't be "Jail Bait" anymore! I'm so excited!!! Eddie wants to hang out with me the day after my birthday-wink-wink . I have been talking to him every night for like an hour it's really cool. I love being such good friends with him. AND he wants to be maybe a physciatrist he told me. That's so cool because he always lets me tell him everything on my mind and then I feel better afterwards. Well as you know, being 17 was the worst year of my life! So many bad things happened-I hated it so much! And finally this year is almost over with. If only all the memories would be over with too and my mind would forget all the bad shit that happened. But I know they will stick with me forever . Maybe they're a good thing because you learn from your experiences. I'm thinking of writing a book but I don't know yet. I'm not a good writer-I just like putting my thoughts on paper, it helps. Speaking of books, I just finished reading a really good book and it only took me two days! It was called "Beauty Queen" and it was about this girl who became a topless dancer to earn some extra cash which amounted to ALOT of money. But then she got addicted to heroin and ended up becoming obsessed over a guy who was a huge jerk. In the end she ODed on heroin and died while waiting all night for the jerk to show up at her house. During the book she talked about how great heroin was. It made me wonder..maybe it's even better then Ecstacy...maybe I'll never find out though. Well I gotta go to work journal....later.

P.S. I'm starting a new diet...I'm going to try not to eat as much and just drink a bunch of redbulls to give me energy--I couldn't fit into 3 PAIRS of my jeans yesterday when I was trying them all on while cleaning my room! ughh