10/24/05 in Victim of Society

This weekend was adequite. I stayed up too late Friday and Saturday and didn't get to sleep till like 4 in the morning. So Sunday I was all super hung over and tired and I had to wake up early to go to the play Dracula with Margot, her mom my mom and margots moms friend. First we went to casa de salsa and then left for the bridges auditorium. It was a pretty boring play and there were no words but I loved the dancing and the costumes were great.

I've been so confused and I'm so tired of being confused. I'm not sure where I stand right now with everyone and everything. I feel like I'm on the edge of the cliff about to fall off. Will I fall or save myself? I'm tired of making plans and never going through with them. I'm tired of thinking. I wish things would just come easily for me for once. Last night was incredible and weird and a little awkward at work. I don't feel like writing about it right now though. The bells gonna ring gtg...ill write again later

Ok back..sorry at school the stupid bitch library was like breathing on my back trying to see what I was typing so I couldn't type everything I wanted...

Anyways.........This year keeps on dragging on and on it seems like it should be over already. Steve and I had a talk Friday night. Apparently he thought I was a virgin! So I just told him everything that happened with me and Craig..I am so suprised he never fucking knew. He finally understood why I haven't had sex with him yet and how I don't want to have sex with my friends ever again because it ruins friendships! And he got the hint I didn't want to be his girlfriend, just friends.

But this whole thing with sex is really on my mind because Steve isn't my only guy friend who wants to have sex with me, Eddie does too. But the thing is I like Eddie. I just don't want our friendship to turn to shit if I do end up having sex with him. I keep telling myself that I learn from my mistakes, so I would just die if I made the same mistake again and ruined our friendship all because of stupid sex! Is it really worth is? Oh what do I do? I can trust Eddie right? He actually does like me right? He won't stop talking to me, he's not like Craig....or is he?

P.S---My plan on the new guy at work is WORKING!!!! Ah im sooo good