11/29/05 in Victim of Society

Tonight was very nice. Last night was very exciting. Things are going good.

So last night at around 8 I went over to Eddie's and hung out with him and his roomates downstairs watching TV. Then we eventually proceeded upstairs to his room where we both ended up naked, as usual. Then we started fooling around and doing everything except sex, as usual. Except this night was different. We were both cuddling under the covers and feeling eachother, wanting eachother and I kept thinking about how much I wanted to just have sex with him. Originally the plan was we were going to have sex December 17th, the day after I turn 18. But we both could not wait that long we wanted eachother bad. So finally he asks if I want to have sex and I -of course-said yes. So he grabbed a condom and we did it. And it was nice.....it wasn't romantic or anything it was just sex and sex is...well sex. But we have the 17th to be all romantic and have fucking awesome sex (bang bang bang) hehe....So afterwards we were laying in his bed and I started thinking about how we had never gone to the movies before, or out to eat or shopping or even to a simple fast-food place. Whenever we hung out it was either at work or in his bedroom and I really do not want to just be his fuck buddy because I really like him. So I told him all this and he said he didn't want to go shopping but he would take me out to dinner, but didn't seem to thrilled about the idea so I got all sad. I know he likes me but sometimes I feel like he only wants sex, nothing more. But tonight he showed me he really does like me. After school I went to CPK to fill Andrea in about my night and I was telling her about how I wished Eddie would take me out to dinner or go shopping or something and a few minutes later my phone rings and it was Eddie asking where I wanted to go out for dinner! I was so happy and told him to choose. So I went home and got ready and at around 6 he came and picked me up and we went to Chilis. He bought me food and dessert and we had a really good time Then we went back to my house and I thought he was just drop me off but he came inside and met my grandpa and talked with my mom and dad and we all watched jeopardy and wheel of fortune together in the living room. He knew like all the answers to Wheel of Forture and I felt all stupid because I couldn't guess any of them. About an hour later I could tell he was getting bored so I walked him to his car and we had a cigarette and then he kissed me goodbye and told me to call him before I go to sleep.

So yeah...I really like Eddie and me and him are so comfortable around him and things feel right for once. I had sex with him and I'm not grossed out afterwards, I am sexually attracted to him, he treats me good, he is such the perfect guy for me and I am so stupid for falling for the bad asses before I got to Eddie because if I had only seen what a great guy he is and had been attracted to that quality in the beginning, it would have saved me ALOT of heartache. I just can't believe I actually feel happy in life right now and things are finally.....comfortable.