12/03/05 in Victim of Society

molest

v 1: harass or assault sexually; make indecent advances to

Last night I got home from a party and I was pretty drunk. I saw my brother was sleeping on the couch and noticed no one was in his room. I looked in the guest room and Gil and his friend Kason were in there...in their boxers. I thought that was pretty weird and asked them what they were doing. They told me they were trying to go to sleep so I went to the bed and started bugging them to get up because I was bored and they were like just lay in the middle. So they put the covers over me and Kason started touching my stomach. At first I was like oh well whatever but then he moved down and into my pants. Then I started feeling uncomfortable. Then he grabbed my hand and forced me to touch his penis and I pushed him away and he kept getting all pissed and telling me to "get the fuck away" I was in shock. I left the room and came back later and saw they had locked the door.....So they were both inside the room together in their boxers with the door locked. Hmm I found that pretty weird and Kason opens the door and tells me to come in so, stupidly, I do and he pushes me onto the bed. Gil is laughing and I try to get up but they throw the covers over me and Kason pulls my pants off and tells me to touch Gil's penis "because it's big" I got mad and was like what the fuck are you doing and Gil lifts up the covers and I have no pants on and I'm trying to get up but they are forcing me down and then Gil gets up to lock the door and I go physco realizing they want to fucking BOTH do shit to me. I finally push them off and run out of the room and hit my head on the door and ran into my room and locked my door and the door leading outside. I go online and try to call people, no one answers but Craig is online. I tell him what happens. I'm shaking and scared and feel completely DISGUSTING! I hear them knocking on my door and I freak out. Craig tells me I should leave the house but I have no where to go and I was drunk. He tells me I could come to his house so I try to sober up a bit and get in the car and drive to his house. Me and him sat in his brother's room talking about it for awhile and he says I was molested and that word fucking scares me. I didn't cry though..I sat there shocked and feeling like a gross slut. Craig reassures me none of it was my fault and that I had no idea that would have happened. I still feel disgusting though. He lets me sleep in his room on his bed and he slept on the couch in his brothers room. I woke up sooo many times in the middle of the night hoping it was all just a bad dream but realizing it wasn't and I was still in craig's room. Finally around 10 am. I wake up and Craig is still asleep and no one else is at home so I just left. I still haven't cried about this and I'm still in shock and when I think about it, it makes me fucking SICK. I can't believe GIL would fucking do that shit to me I am so grossed out I never want to fucking see him or hear his voice AGAIN. And knowing they are in the room right next door to mine makes me want to fucking throw up. Then they had the fucking nerve to leave me a message on myspace saying I TRIED TO RAPE THEM WHAT THE FUCK!!! ew i hate them soo much!!!