Entries 151
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8/27/05: Party at Kyle's
Well last night I went to Kyle's party with Andrea and as soon as we pulled up I saw Matt H's truck . We walked in and I saw a bunch of ppl like Miki and Steve playing cards in the kitchen and I ...
8/26/05
Well lately my mood has been up and down. Last night I went to this shitty scene party--it was so lame. So I decided to call up Andrea and see if she wanted to come because Margot said she was le...
8/24/05: Matt and Dan
Well a couple nights ago I was super mad at Andrea -again-...she said she'd go with me to Dan's house but ditched me But I got over it the next day because I ended up having a super fun night an...
8/21/05
Well the other night I snuck out and hung out with Dan, Matt and Aaron. It was pretty fun. Matt was singing this song about me and playing guitar and he was like "Natalieeeeee what are u doingggg...
8/15/05
Well a few nights ago I went to this party that Dan invited me to and it was a ton of fun. Margot ditched me for her boyfriend -ugh-...but I actually got ahold of Andrea so she came with me. Whe...
8/1/05
Well I have been thinking alot lately about CPK. Especially when I am at my new pizza job since that place sucks so much more then CPK. And since we never have anything to do, I have plenty of th...
7/28/05: The overdose
Well last Monday night, although I'm not sure if it was really Monday because part of me believes it was Thursday for some reason, but any ways..one of those days I went to Andrea's grandparents ...
7/17/05
Ugh...Craig not talking to me is seriously effecting me. Like I thought oh well who cares I got what I wanted. But now I'm sad that he doesn't even care about me at all and can just ignore me for...
7/14/05
Well today I had my psychiatrist appointment. I talked to the doctor and she told me that I'm bi-polar. I was kinda scared at first but then it all started to make sense as she explained it. Bi-p...
7/10/05
Well yesterday was so boring. I went to work and found out it was my last day because stupid Christiane didn't put me on next week's schedule even though my two weeks weren't even up yet...but wh...
7/9/05: Sex
Finally. Last night. It happened. So me and andrea decide to hang out with Jose and before she comes and picks me up I notice Craig is online so I think "hey why not ..ill just ask if he wants t...
7/8/05
Well yesterday at work Matt is all being super nice to me and I was like wtf usually he just says whats up and is on his way. So then he goes "yeah my wife is outta town this weekend we should ha...
7/4/05
Seriously. I don't even know why I plan things anymore. All plans turn to shit. It's because you plan fun things out, and you know..expect to have FUN. And you have all these expectations and the...
7/3/05 Fourth of July Plans
Ok well mine and dreas original plan was to go to Roynon and take it and then walk around and watch the fireworks but my mom was saying to me today "natalie be careful tomorrow there is going to ...
7/3/05
Well...Craigs still being a lil emo baby fuck. I hate him no not really Im just frustrated. Oh well....hmmm that interview at Vector was about some business selling knives. It seemed really cool ...
6/28/05
Well the other day at work I saw Matt and I was like can i have a hug? and he was like sure and we hugged and just talked like the whole time at work because me and him have sorta been not talkin...
6/26/05
So Wednesday night I got super wasted at some guy Danny's house with Craig and all his friends and andrea. And if you know me, when I get drunk I get emotional..especially around Craig cuz just a...
6/22/05
These last couple of nights have been pretty fun. Monday night me and Andrea went to some guy's house named Sergio with Jose and we all got drunk. Me and drea went for a walk and I had to go pop ...
6/20/05
Well yesterday I was in a really bad mood all day. I had this bad feeling about Craig and I told him about it and he was like no Im fine and I was like oh ok then. But I still had that feeling. E...
6/19/05
Yesterday was one of those boring days of my life. I had to drive in a car with my parents out to Temecula which is about 2 hours away, sit through traffic, just to go to this old couple's 50th a...
6/16/05
Everythings been so weird lately. Like I don't even know who my true friends are anymore and I feel pretty much alone. Lately Ive been trying to figure out everything. Like my true feelings, true...
6/9/05: Craig's friends
Well today at work when Craig came in, I seriously fell in love with him all over again. It was so weird. He looked soooo amazingly hot. Like even hotter then before. And he was being so sweet an...
6/8/05
I was reading an old diary and it was back when I first started working at CPK. Most of the entries were about how much I liked Matt and then gradually fewer and fewer were about Matt and at the ...
6/3/05
So last night at Matt's show it seemed pretty fucking obvious he still loves Miki and I was just the girl on the side while she was out of town. But now that shes back I'm just history. I asked i...
5/30/05
I can't believe myself. Me and Craig hung out on Friday night and just ended up drinking and talking for 3 hours up at look out point. I ended up telling him that i rolled with a guy and that I ...
Book Description
This book contains entries taken from my very first OD created in 2004.
“My name is Natalie Caroline.
I am 23 years old and have had this online journal for 7 years now. It has grown up with me and has recorded every good and every bad memory I have experienced these past few years.
All the tears.
All the laughs.
The fights, the awkward moments.
I can look back on entries and cry.
I can look back on entries and laugh at how foolish I was.
It’s amazing what a bunch of words typed down can make me do.
But every entry had a story behind it, hundreds of entries that will always remind me of my past.
This is a journal I can never let go of, and never share with besides with those who have been there from the beginning.
It will always be there to remind me of how much I have grown and changed.
Remind me of my hopes and dreams.
Remind me to keep going on because I have made it this far.
But most of all, with this journal, I have the power to go back in time…
“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. ” ~ Nietzsche
