the_bell_jar
If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.
Entries 389
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Winter Quarter in The Wanderer
Well school is flying by as usual! Next quarter will be my last quarter as an undergrad! I am preparing for graduation, and I do not want to walk, but since I’m in the Honors, I have to–which mea...
GRE in The Wanderer
I’ve been studying for this test for about a year, making the past few months crunch time. I cannot afford a tutor, and my school does not offer any prep classes, so I basically had to learn ever...
Synchronicity in The Wanderer
Well things sure have changed for the better in the past year! I decided to get back on prose, partly hoping that the two people I follow regularly on here will stay updated as well! It’s easy to...
Hello there in The Wanderer
Well it has been so long since I’ve updated this journal, and so many things I wanted to write about, but such little time! School started and is going pretty great. I have had two midterms and g...
School starts this week. in The Wanderer
I have been excited to start school since my foot landed in California last year. I had to wait until this fall because most schools (that I can afford) out here are impacted. So I’m finally in a...
Role Playing in The Wanderer
A is back from vacation tomorrow and I am very excited. I don’t want to be apart from him for that long again. We have spoken a lot about what we want from each other and I am really eager to try...
Clair De Lune- Michael Dulin in The Wanderer
I can’t stop listening to this beautiful song. I’m filled with so many emotions I haven’t felt in forever. I should be writing all about my Washington trip, which was AMAZING, but I just feel lik...
dino wino night in The Wanderer
Things have been going quite well between A and I. We have been spending a lot more time together and I am loving how close we have become. We are officially boyfriend/girlfriend, but I am trying...
Date number two in The Wanderer
I got off work around 6:30, went home and got ready to meet up with A at his house in R-side. I was so nervous on the drive there, and was proud of myself for not smoking any cigarettes and didn’...
<3 in The Wanderer
Well lust has filled my heart yet again! I had the most amazing time with A the other night. We were lying on a blanket at the beach at night watching the stars, listening to the waves crash, en...
another Friday night in The Wanderer
Well I’m typing this in bed it’s about one in the morning. Sorry in advance for the typos. I just have a lot on my mind in regards to men and my future. I usually push thoughts about guys to side...
Summer Yardie Pool Party in The Wanderer
Yesterday was the pool party at S&K’s house and it was so much fun!! It really made me realize that even though sometimes shit gets bad at work, I really do work with a bunch of awesome peopl...
4th of July in The Wanderer
Well it was a crazy weekend. I got off work around 10 on Friday and went to Lisa’s and we all went to Chap lanes for some drinks and pool. Morgan’s dad is a trip lol. Around 1 we went back to the...
Moving in The Wanderer
Well I am finally out of the place I’ve been sharing with Derek. It’s surreal, and I think if things weren’t going so good outside of that, I wouldn’t be feeling so lively. But things have been a...
Been awhile in The Wanderer
The ball finally seems to be rolling along again. I can’t wait to start talking to someone once I figure out which therapist my insurance will cover. I want to finally heal old wounds…and there a...
Psychic visit in The Wanderer
Well it has been awhile since I have seen the psychic at the old school house, but I felt it was time. I got a general reading at first and then went more specific. My overall question was what p...
It was bound to happen in The Wanderer
I was very happy to be one of the few that can maintain a friendship with an ex. Especially with him. He was my best friend. He was my husband. After the divorce I tried very hard to keep our fri...
Held high. in The Wanderer
They walked around with their heads held high and I wondered how did they do it. It was as if the clouds had disappeared for the rest of the world and I saw things no one else did. Or maybe I jus...
Rushing lapse in The Wanderer
Grasping upon two heavy bundles of rope. I feel the harsh threads puncture my hands; pain then numbness. White knuckles ready to crack and bleed out. I am overwhelmed by the anxiety caused from a...
Loops in The Wanderer
I have that craving to leave. I am getting claustrophobic here. I don’t see anything that lets me breath in my immediate future. Just stuffiness and anticipation. Don’t really know what I am wait...
December is here in The Wanderer
Well like I always say, time sure is flying by! I feel like I am in crunch mode since the end of the year is approaching and I need to be out of this apartment by the end of February. I got mysel...
November 8th, 2014 in The Wanderer
I am currently listening to the bangs and booms from the upstairs unit that they are fixing after the ghetto people destroyed it. The dogs are barking periodically, and I am just reminded of how ...
November in The Wanderer
My life has been hectic as usual. I recently got a hold of an old friend who is going through a tough time. I went out to see her and it was just like old days when had our “depression confessio...
Opportunities and other stuff in The Wanderer
I swear my parents are trying to get evicted from this place and I have to really get things figured out before that happens. They tried to ask me if Derek and I would take over the lease. Um no!...
The future is here. in The Wanderer
I haven’t updated a lot lately. I don’t know why, but writing isn’t as important to me as it used to be…and that makes me despondent. I have been pulled out of myself so many times in the past fo...