2/5/2006 in Victim of Society

775 bucks saved up. Damn I am so proud of myself. I really have never had this much money saved up dude it just reminds me how much closer I am to leaving here and going on this ROADTRIP!

I have been thinking a lot about CPK and I am glad I am manager now but if I wasn't I think I would have found a new job because I'm sick of the same old guys and I feel like all the good times are over with and done and it's time to find a new job and meet NEW guys <3 BUT since I am manager now I am definatly not going to quit because I'll be making a lot more now. And after the roadtrip if me and drea do go back to CPK we will definatly be making enough between the two of us to MOVE OUT. its going to be fucking weird dude but exciting. Anyways Im still trying to finish highschool but I havent been really working on my online school shit cuz its so boring ugh and Ive been, sadly, stoned alll weekend. I duno why but I just feel like being stoned all the time now. i just dont feel like dwelling on everything. and right now things between me and eddie are weird. like we are friends now but we both like to torment eachother by talking shit and saying lil jabs at one another. its hard because really the whole time i just want to throw my arms around him and say FUCK ME lol but yes that will not happen ne time soon so -sigh-. i have to somehow get him to just want to be fuck buddies with me cuz i miss well u know..the sex.

well i found out matt hadsell is cheating on miki yet again but this time not another crackwhore no he has hit rock bottom.

A heroin addict. So now hes all into that too. wow hes dead. sooo fucking DEAD already. and i cant even begin to explain how i feel about it. i realize this is sumthing that is going to eat up at me for a really long time. something i cant ever get out of my head. fucking tormenting. i can picture myself years from now sumhow hearing the name MATT HADSELL and feeling chills run up my spine remembering everything i went thru with him. and for once i actually feel pity for miki. shes going to end up with aids or sum other std and shes soo fucking naive and doesnt even realize what her own boyfriend is doing and even i know. very sad and pathetic.

p.s. superbowl sucked. it wasnt even that busy at work and because of the stupid game, my tivo fucked up and didnt record greys anatomy which was the BIGGEST episode ever. FUCK FOOTBALL.