2/2/06 in Victim of Society

Ok so I go into work and Andrea calls me telling me she got hit by a car walking down some alley and that she might be bleeding internally. So I was just freaking out thinking about what if she dies and all this stuff. So since she was in the hospital, Eddie covered her manager shift. So it was just weird working with him because it was the first night we started talking again and seem like we are ok finally, so thats good. Well since Eddie covered Andrea's shift, CRAIG covered Eddie's shift. It was so weird working with craig again I sorta didn't know what to say to him or anything and I felt kinda like used up and dirty for sleeping with both of them. Like I was just some "old news". So after work I go home and just put some pj's on, washed my make up off and didn't even do my hair or anything but I got bored so decided to just see what was going on at CK cafe. No one was really there so I left and was going back home and had to stop to get gas because I was on empty and the first one I come to was the one on mountain and foothill. I pull in and see a red truck and think "hmm that kinda looks like matts truck..." I walk up to the doors and there he is. Standing there with his pigtooth sweatshirt on and hoodie over his hair. He walks behind the counter and I walk up to it. I take out my wallet and I am like totally shaking and I forget what number I'm on. He goes "two" So I was like oh ok and handed him like 20 one's from my tip money at work and just walked out of there as fast as I could. It was SO SCARY. It seriously felt as thought I had seen someone dead, like if I had seen Josh just working there. It was the weirdest feeling and it kinda hurt that he didn't even try talking to me or anything. I felt like he just hated me so much but at least he was kinda smiling the whole time. That old familiar smile.... He's in my head a lot and not I bet it's going to be even harder not to think about him. I don't know how the hell I'm going to go to sleep tonight after this fucking weird ass night I'm going to be like up all night which sucks because I slept for only 5 hours last night and had to work from 11:00-8:45 today. Which reminds me... I fucking SCRUBBED all the mildewy grime off of the sink handles at work and that stuff was so disgusting and stuck on there it took me like literally 2 hours. Then I cleaned out the whole microwave and then the radio because serioulsy that stuff was fucking DIRTY as hell. But now they are all nice and clean so yay.