Public

Victim of Society

by the_bell_jar

Entries 151

Page 4 of 7

February 06, 2014

5/24/05

Isn't it ironic how Craig was the one that got me over Matt and now Matt's the one that got me over Craig? Me and Matt have been so close lately hanging out everynight. We haven't kissed yet or a...


February 06, 2014

5/22/05: The Rave

On Friday, at around midnight, Matt finally came to pick me up to go to the rave. I was scared but super excited. He told me he just came back from his girlfriends and that she was being a bitch ...


February 06, 2014

5/15/05: Virginity

Well I lost my virginity in the back seat of my car last Saturday with a guy I had known for about an hour. Anyways, we didn't use protection and I'm freaking out that I have AIDs or something. E...


February 06, 2014

5/3/05

"Everyone I love goes away in the end." Well yesterday at work was one of the most awkward days of my life. This girl I've known for awhile told me she was bisexual like a year ago. Me and her u...


February 06, 2014

5/1/05: Party with Matt

Well Friday I REALLY wanted to do something fun instead of sit around at my house with all my friends playing pool and stuff. Margot called me and was like "were coming over now" and i was like "...


February 06, 2014

4/21/05

Well I finally broke it off with Steve so I could be free to roam. I don't know why I was trying to prove to myself I could be in a relationship when it is obvious I can't. So of course Davey wan...


February 06, 2014

4/6/05

Well I am officially with Steve exclusively. I don't really want to be but I feel like I have to, to prove to myself that I am capible of holding a steady relationship. I don't know why but whene...


February 06, 2014

3/30/05

Well I still am not sure if me and Steve are like boyfriend/girlfriend. But I'm pretty sure we are. He just never officially asked me out...I guess older guys don't usualy ask girls out though i ...


February 06, 2014

3/19/05

Yesterday was supposed to be a fun night but instead turned into one of the most boringest Fridays I've had in a long time. Both Wednesday and Thursday night I hung out with Steve at his house un...


February 06, 2014

3/15/05: Matt's band

Ive been pretty busy lately so I haven't been on here in so long. I havent even written in my journals recently and I usually alwasy update those things...well ne waz...right now I have a list of...


February 06, 2014

2/9/05

Well it's not raining anymore. I swear, only in Cali is it 40 degrees and raining one day and then 85 degrees and sunny the next..lame. Yesterday was Margot's birthday and me, her, mike, cheif(m...


February 06, 2014

1/31/05

Kyle was scarying me so much today at work it sucked. I dont want to ever work alone with him again. No he wasnt doing sexual stuff you perverts haha. He was just being mean. Giving me really bad...


February 06, 2014

1/23/05

It all started off Friday night when I went to a party in Diamond Bar with Margot. We met up with Jen and her friend Matt. After the band, they were all hungry so we decided to go to Carl's Jr. W...


February 06, 2014

1/6/2005

It's not fucking fair. Why did he have to die!?!? He was one of my best friends!! I HATE THIS WORLD. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this out of my diary. JOSH DIED LAST DECEMBER. Im so mad rig...


February 06, 2014

1/2/2005

IM SO GLAD 2004 IS OVER WITH!!!!!!!!! So much bad/sad things have happened since my last entry that I don't even know if I want to get into. I'm just going to not type all those things that happ...


February 06, 2014

11/23/04

Andrea got a job at my work!! So now I wont be stuck with only working with the dumb matt. The cool matt mite quit! omg id be so sad! why cant the dumb one quit :( Eddie mite quit too. Jason qui...


February 06, 2014

11/15/2004: Arizona

Well last Thursday and Friday we had off so me and the family went to Arizona. We took a plane and my cousin, aunt and grandma came to. We landed in Phoenix and stayed in a hotel in Scottsdale. W...


February 06, 2014

10/10/04: Kickback with CPKers

Yesterday after work I was pretty pissed off again because no one could hang out. Heather was going to do CCC with me but no0o0o her cousins had to come over and so she had to go home. So I just ...


February 06, 2014

10/3/04: Homecoming

The day started off with a cool fall breeze. As I walked outside, the wind rustled through my hair and then....lol jk....Ne waz today I got my hair done which took like 2 hours so by the time we ...


February 06, 2014

9/30/04

Dude....yesterday at work I found out like Matt has been lying alot lately. He told Kyle that Adam (our boss) was pissed that they all got me drunk (even thought I wasnt drunk) on Saturday, and t...


February 06, 2014

9/28/04

Its's so gay. I finally bought our homecoming tickets. Well mine and Jon's (andrea's bf) cuz they both dont go to Bonita so steven was gonna say hes going with Andrea. And I said I was going with...


February 06, 2014

9/26/04

Well yesterday Christyanne let me off work at 8 so I went home and it was my brother's birthday so all my family was there. Then this guy Kyle from work called me and invited me to hang out at Ed...


February 06, 2014

9/22/04: Letter from my mom

So yeah....me and my mom are still in a big fight and she wrote me this long letter and set it on my desk and I read it after I got home from school. This morning she was being really mean and sa...


February 06, 2014

9/20/04

Well school has still been really gay. Esp since Danielle hasnt showed up for a few days. I dont know where the hell she is but like she called me at lunch on Friday and said her stomache was hur...


February 06, 2014

9/15/04

Well ne waz. . . . Im officially going out with steven now. And no, that doesnt mean im over Matt. How sucky is that. Whatever Im sure I can get over Matt...I think :-/ I had such a stressful da...


Book Description

This book contains entries taken from my very first OD created in 2004.



“My name is Natalie Caroline.

I am 23 years old and have had this online journal for 7 years now. It has grown up with me and has recorded every good and every bad memory I have experienced these past few years.

All the tears.

All the laughs.

The fights, the awkward moments.

I can look back on entries and cry.

I can look back on entries and laugh at how foolish I was.

It’s amazing what a bunch of words typed down can make me do.

But every entry had a story behind it, hundreds of entries that will always remind me of my past.

This is a journal I can never let go of, and never share with besides with those who have been there from the beginning.

It will always be there to remind me of how much I have grown and changed.

Remind me of my hopes and dreams.

Remind me to keep going on because I have made it this far.

But most of all, with this journal, I have the power to go back in time…

“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. ” ~ Nietzsche