Role Playing in The Wanderer

A is back from vacation tomorrow and I am very excited. I don’t want to be apart from him for that long again. We have spoken a lot about what we want from each other and I am really eager to try it out. The only thing I am worried about is what if parts of it get out of hand? I’ve had some experience with this type of stuff, but not to the extent we have discussed. We do have a code word for when one of us gets into role and the other needs assurance. And then a safe word. He said, “Mainly I want you to know that I have your well being close to my heart, but I also have these fantasies. I want to feel like it’s real and then come back to reality.” I completely want the same thing.

I also had this really weird dream that I was in a room trying to explain to everyone my feelings for him and I just wanted people to understand. My mom was yelling at me saying, “Why are you talking about A with your legs apart. You need to cross your legs” It was so weird. What does that even mean?!?

I think what I am really enjoying from this relationship is that it is the first one I can recall that we are this passionate and that I am not the more dominant one. I really thought I could never find a guy who would be more dominant than I am. So this release of power is very primal and seductive.

Anyway, we will see how things go.