Lookin ⋅
I will get 'it' back...I promise.
Entries 33
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more puking in diary
I ended up at home for the retreat. I am…disappointed. Trying to figure out why it seems so easy for some and what I do wrong. I have not integrated since then, but have checked and got a no a...
puke it up in diary
I have a million things on my mind so I um just gonna puke them up till I feel done. I just got the computer back from warranty work on monday..so some is old. I dreamed about Gord. He was my a...
I have so much to type..but not sure I will type any of it. This time last night I thought I had it all figured out. I had integrated being useful and happy. That is the core of the desire for...
umm semi-monthly daily entry in diary
Ok so I fell down on the daily entries that were gonna help with my ACE treatment. I am have had a roller coaster time the last few weeks. I was at the point of giving up last week, latterly th...
Ok, so not even sure I mentioned it, but I am reading a book. Childhood Interrupted I think is the name. It is about ACE (adverse Childhood Experiences) and how they effect the health of the ad...
Is it still called therapy if it is with a psychologist rather than therapist? I guess so since it is EMDT treatment. It was an interesting day. I was surprised at the last appointment that chi...
just a quick entry about dreams. My dream last night was about a family reunion on the farm. Although it did not look like the farm really. And there was a drug bust where a big tote of dope w...
100 things in diary
I was looking back on facebook from other years and the 2012 entry said to list 100 things you are grateful for. I said it was easy and that things just flowed. 2012 was when things were going ...
was trying to find a title for this. Wanted something that reflected my morose but also want something..inspirational..hopeful. I got nothing. I am not going to my god daughter’s wedding benefi...
lonely ....I think in diary
Everything I watch, hear, read or do makes me cry. I think I just self assessed that I am ..lonely. I have been sick since Saturday morning and some days quite sick and nobody has come check on...
been a while in diary
I am not sure about how long it has been. I do know that last time I was here I was on about a week of no passouts. That streak has ended, but not back to daily passouts yet. I went to the c...
another day in diary
Today was another good day. I went to the gathering. I was integrated by…Patrick’s wife…isn’t that terrible…I can’t remember her name…I have been trying. She helped me peel my intention…partly...
Still good in diary
Have not had a passout in a week now. I am thrilled. I got my kitchen cleaned down to the bare bones today. Dishwasher is full again but will run it tomorrow so the noise is while I am away. G...
I have had 5 days of not passing out asleep! I want to sing the ‘nd many morrrreeee” like they add to the end of singing happy birthday. I don’t know what did it. Heck I don’t care as long as ...
human contact in diary
So I woke up a few times with ‘these arms..’ running through my head. I am less down today …not desparately needing a hug …not that I would turn one down. But felt …tired today…and a little vert...
These Arms in diary
I …just listened to These Arms Of Mine-Otis Redding. I feel lonely. I don’t get ..Lonely…and longingly.... I am always ok with my life. I guess now I have to say almost always. I listened to ...
Can't sleep..frustrated..lonely... in diary
I can’t sleep. Feeling no less tired, but still can’t sleep. Partly my fault I guess. I read the last chapter of 50 Shades Of Gray. I know I know....some think smut. And perhaps for parts I ...
I wanna let go of it in diary
So my older sister called today. Come to think of it I am not sure why. I guess to ask if her bf had got my car going last night. Anyways she asked what I was doing and I said writing in my dia...
perhaps the weirdest ass dream in history in diary
I was woken up first thing this morning by phycologist office to make an appointment…from a referral from my doctor. I was not aware we were going there yet. But anyways…then I was up and mad c...
if you could ask in diary
I was already to write another life sucks entry, but hey I can write them any given day lately… I have been doing some…if I could ask…thinking. Things I wish I could as. Not to change things, b...
postsecret in diary
Not sure why but postsecret made me want to come write today. I don’t know if I have secrets as much as I have things that I wish I could just vent on someone that would …I don’t know…understand...
couple days in diary
It has been a rough couple of days. Yesterday was almost a full day of bad vertigo. Today was vertigo and fatigue. I had an afternoon nap yesterday and a late morning early afternoon nap today...
one more day and then break in diary
I have been worried about a stretch of things for several days in a row. Tomorrow’s Mom’s dental appointment is the last day till …I think the19th? I will make it! Yessterday was my grandson’s ...
not bad day in diary
I slept in today. Awoke rested for the first time in almost forever. It was the grandson’s birthday so went over for supper…the party is sunday. I did have a short bout of the can’t stay awake...
mustering joy in diary
So I perhaps am more convinced I am clinically depressed. Did more than yesterday and mayhaps feel less financially strapped but still feel…not ok. I woke up early today. I had to a bit becaus...
