if you could ask in diary

I was already to write another life sucks entry, but hey I can write them any given day lately…
I have been doing some…if I could ask…thinking. Things I wish I could as. Not to change things, but just to know.
I would ask my Dad if he knew he was going to die.
I would ask Gord why he broke up/cheated and got caught if I was the love of his life like he told anyone who would listen.
I would ask Mom genuinely why she treated me like she hated me…till she got dementia and forgot. I mean if it was genuine hated me wouldn’t she remember?
I would ask Rick if we were friends and had a soul contract or was all of that part of his job?
I would ask Myke if any of what we do is catfishing.
I get to writting and the questions go out of my mind…I may be back