untitled in diary

was trying to find a title for this. Wanted something that reflected my morose but also want something..inspirational..hopeful. I got nothing.
I am not going to my god daughter’s wedding benefit social tomorrow. Mostly because I don’t have the energy. Things like a second trip to Safeway to get the one bag I left in the cart knocks me on my ass for hours. So the trip in and then the shower and then the social would just be too much. That and I am broke. Very broke. Mind you that lucky day thing in my phone was today so maybe I won the lottery and just don’t know yet.
I was saying to my nephew yesterday that generally the money does just show up when I am in dier ..how the fuck is that spelled?…need.
I tried to phone the sleep clinic today. The number that did the trick before Christmas is no longer the right one so they gave me the right one and then it had a recording saying call after 1:00pm…it was 3 something…and saying to not leave a message cause they don’t check or answer them. I guess I try again Tuesday.
Dire..there justfigured out that word.
You know…I miss chat. The social coffee shop sorta place in the middle of the night. If that still exists I have not found it. They are all about the cyber now. I have outgrown the cyber. l
I sit and things are silent and too quiet and not active at nights…or forthat matter all day long. And no energy to make it otherwise.
I just want comfort. not comfortably numb or comfort zone not doing anything..but comfort as in not a lot..just less worries andmore energy.
Yea..I know..typoes and I am out of stuff and energy for now..and not going to fix it