Entries 102
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I Give Up...
I really don’t want to exist. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of trusting the wrong people. I’m tired of getting hurt. Every little tidbit of information that I have to hear about him at work jus...
Dearest F...
Dearest F, I loved you. I was obviously really fucking stupid, but I loved you. For the first time in quite a while I thought I’d found someone that I could have a future with. Alas, I was wrong....
Overwhelmed...
I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed. I’m sitting at work, but I don’t want to do anything. Like I am sooo unmotivated to do anything. And there’s stuff I need to do, but I’m just not sure I car...
F Off...
F was kinda talking to me again… yesterday afternoon I was talking to him about maybe coming over last night and drinking with me. I didn’t figure he’d agree. And the night was all super fucked u...
Moonshine...
It tries to make everything better, but fails miserably. Oh look, we have something in common. Last night, dinner consisted of moonshine. I was at work and J had just gotten back with pizza and ...
I Need To Stop Feeling...
I feel really hurt today. I just want to cry. Ok I am crying. Earlier today I was sitting and talking with M. F gets to work and comes over and basically ignores me and starts talking to M. He s...
I Do This To Myself...
I’m just feeling miserable. F came over Saturday night and Sunday morning was fantastic… Like we stayed in bed having sex and cuddling for like 3 hours. Got up, made breakfast, checked on my cat...
Hormones...
I am crazy hormonal currently. Fuck my period. I started late Sunday night. Sunday caused a severe case of baby fever. Monday night Juno came on which upset me even further. I ended up basically...
Meeting the Dad...
F said he’d come over Friday night after he got out of work. I tried to clean up some and put clean sheets on the bed. He showed up. We hugged and kissed a bit. Took a long hot shower that inclu...
I Might Be Stupid...
So yeah… I might be really stupid. Let’s start with the weekend… On Friday I took my cat back to the vet. He was being weird. Checked his blood, rbcs are down closer to normal than they were, but...
Monday...
I’m sitting at my desk. I’m not planning on doing anything else today. The weekend was retarded. On Friday I basically just laid there once I got home. JM texted me around 8 asking if I wanted t...
Breaking Point...
I’m really at my breaking point this week. I haven’t really seen F. And when I asked him today if I should just stop asking him to hang out he said yes. So I said ok done and unfriended him on f...
Just fuck...
I’m laying in bed currently. I should be sleeping. Everything is just over… F was originally supposed to come over last night but he cancelled on me. Basically he had decided to delete his fb in...
I Need to Give Up...
I really really need to give up. He’s still really obsessed with chick. He stayed over last night and this morning we were talking and I said he basically wants to go back to just being friends...
Bed...
My house is at deacon 2, maybe 1.5. All I want to do is lay in bed by myself and sleep or cry. I have zero motivation to fix it. I would like to stay here all weekend. I don’t even know if F is c...
Worse...
Things have generally just gotten worse. He’s pulled away a lot since I dropped the L bomb. He’s still hung up on other chick. I really wanted to tell him that he’s like a worm on a hook hoping t...
Bleh...
I feel pretty bleh today. I got kinda drunk last night and got sick in public… I’d only had 3.5 beers. It was ridiculous. And of course F was there so kinda embarrassing. Overall things have bee...
Little Change...
There’s been very little change. F is still staying the night. I kinda just said fuck it. I’d rather have him here and worry about how serious it is later. Tonight might actually be the first nig...
I Was Right...
So apparently my gut feeling was right. He’s still too hung up on other girl to actually be interested in me. We talked about it and I guess for now we’re still going to hang out etc but with no...
Bleh...
I’m feeling kinda bleh… but I think it’s because I’m fixing to start. I’ve had heartburn since yesterday and just feel bloated and achy today. I don’t want to do anything. I did go grocery shopp...
TMS...
So it’s been like a week and a half since F has stayed at his apartment. We’ve slowed down on sex just a bit. I finally told V today that I’m seeing someone else. He took it better than I antici...
Mmmm...
Well… he came over on Sunday and we watched Boondock Saints. We cuddled on the couch and made out constantly. We had sex that afternoon and I cooked dinner, then he ended up staying the night aga...
Brewery...
Last Tuesday, K, her hubby, and my ex hubby tried out a local brewery. They have yummy pizza and lots of different beers. F and I were messaging a fair bit this week and I was being really flirt...
Forgotten...
Ok.... I have a new story but realized it needed to be preceded by another story that I apparently didn’t tell… A couple of weekends ago, the 21st to be exact, I went to Ren Fair. Me and K dresse...
More Wasted Time...
I feel like I’ve wasted the whole weekend. I’ve accomplished like nothing. I’ve done like nothing. Hoping to make up for it a little bit today, but I’m not sure. Like I’m already discouraged and ...
