Worse... in Fresh Start...

Things have generally just gotten worse. He’s pulled away a lot since I dropped the L bomb. He’s still hung up on other chick. I really wanted to tell him that he’s like a worm on a hook hoping that whoever put him there will decide he’s a cute worm worth keeping and unhook him, but as he’s waiting I come along and offer to remove him from said hook and he says no I’d rather be on the hook and hope she’ll remove me instead of have someone who actually cares do it. Or at least that’s how it feels. But what does he know about feelings??? He’s soooo just emotionally stunted and closed off.

K and I were talking about it tonight and she said he’s just so cliche. And she said it could be a romcom. And she wants to be my plucky sidekick who kicks his ass and tells him how it is and he suddenly realizes how much he fucked up as I’m getting on a plane to study abroad and she says go get her kid as he races off to stop me. I said in actuality… He’ll probably figure it out about the time I get ready to make a baby with a test tube that I pick out of a book.

Like I said… He’s pulled away. The sex has completely dwindled. I think since Tuesday we’ve had sex maybe 4 times. Before we had sex more times in a day. Yesterday we had plans to go to the heroes villains con. We went with K and her hubby and my ex hubby and his friend. We hadn’t been there 10 minutes when he goes to the tattoo setup and decides to get a tattoo for the next 3 hours. Needless to say I was pretty pissed and I think everyone but him knew it. We were stuck there late bc of a mess up with one of the photo ops K paid for. Then I had to take K and her hubby home. After that we came back to my house and I got most of the animals fed. Then we left to go to his apartment. It was the first time I’ve ever been there. It was a nice apartment and despite him worrying that it was dirty, it really wasn’t, especially for a boy apartment. Yeah, it was kinda sparsely furnished and the mattress is just on the floor, but it didn’t bother me. He did think about food and ordered a pizza on the way there and picked it up. We basically just ate and I helped him put stuff on his tattoo and then we cuddled up and he put on Netflix. We made out a bit and I ended up blowing him and then we ended up having sex, but I could tell that he was more doing it for my benefit than actually being into it… I guess I just realized I was on the receiving end of pity sex. Go me…

We slept in and cuddled and kissed some more this morning and took a shower together. Then I left to head home. I spent the rest of my day with my sister. We got our nails done and ate at outback and we’ve been binge watching stranger things. I’ve already seen it but she doesn’t have netflix.

Anyways, I think I’m gonna try to go fold laundry bc goddamn adulting…