I Need To Stop Feeling... in Fresh Start...

I feel really hurt today. I just want to cry. Ok I am crying.

Earlier today I was sitting and talking with M. F gets to work and comes over and basically ignores me and starts talking to M. He starts talking about how he’s planning to take the Friday after his birthday off and they start talking about going to a strip club and bars and partying. And M is obviously including his bitch gf in these plans. And at some point says something to F about how he should invite “zaxbys girl” and F just goes right along with it and I’m just sitting there.

I excused myself as soon as I could and then didn’t really say anything to either of them the rest of the day. I mostly hid in the bathroom and played on my phone and cried to myself. Before I did that, J started asking me what was wrong because he could tell something was, but I just told him I didn’t want to talk about it. He of course pressed and making random guesses but I just shut it all down.

I left work and went home without saying a word to F. K and my ex hubby met me at my house and we went to a brewery where I had 2 beers and a salad. Then we came back here and watched tv and smoked hookah. I talked to them about my F issues. K of course hopes he realizes he hurt my feelings, but he won’t. I didn’t text him and he hasn’t texted me.

It’s just really difficult when you love someone and they don’t return your feelings. I’m not sure he has feelings.