Moonshine... in Fresh Start...

It tries to make everything better, but fails miserably. Oh look, we have something in common.

Last night, dinner consisted of moonshine.

I was at work and J had just gotten back with pizza and he and another guy were headed upstairs to eat. I got to the control room door and realized that F was there on the desk, so I turned around without saying a word and left.

I got home around 3:30. I then sat in my car and fell asleep and napped til nearly 5. Kinda sad huh?

Then I went in and cleaned up and decided to sit in front of my computer and smoke hookah and drink moonshine while sorting through audio files.

At some point K texted me and I texted my ex hubby. K wanted to say something to F but I told her not to. He didn’t even stop to say hi to me at work and he hasn’t texted me since Monday and I haven’t texted him. I was stupid and texted V at some point and he called me and I had this entire emotional breakdown. I cried so much my eyes were still swollen this morning.

I’m 35, I’m miserable, I’m alone, I’ve spent nearly 3K at the vet this month, I’m defective, my ex bf just got engaged, we dated for 2.5 years and now he’s engaged to some girl with a kid after not even 10 months and not paying his credit card bill that is tied to my name and tanking my credit and refuses to even text me back about it so I’m forced to text his mother about it who is currently battling cancer again and can’t work, I’m in love with an idiot who’s obsessed with a teenager, and last night I admitted to someone that I don’t want to exist.