Little Change... in Fresh Start...

There’s been very little change. F is still staying the night. I kinda just said fuck it. I’d rather have him here and worry about how serious it is later. Tonight might actually be the first night I sleep without him in like 3 weeks. He’s out playing poker with some guy friends. He said he was going to stay at his apartment but part of me is hoping he’ll change his mind. The other part is going well it’ll suck but maybe a night away will make him realize how much he likes being here with me.

We’ve had a good time the past few days. We had our breakup or whatever you want to call it on Wednesday. That afternoon we talked at work. Then I basically dragged him to the bathroom for sex. It was kinda hot. He’s stayed every night since. Though I’m not telling J, M, or B that. J gave him hell on Thursday when he found out and told him I’d been crying. Of course then he felt guilty because I’d been crying. So then I punched J in the leg for telling him.

We slept in today… or as sleeping in as actually happens around here. We had sex like 3 times then I fed the pigs and took the dogs out. Then we cuddled in bed some more. I started playing with him and just touching to explore his buttons… ended up basically jerking him off and then I finally got up and made breakfast. Then we cuddled in bed some more and I know I dozed off on him for a bit. Then before he was leaving we started playing again and he asked if I wanted to go to the couch. We did and I continued blowing him and then he finally found his voice and told me to take my panties off and ride it. That was really hott!!!

Then he left and I ran some errands and cleaned some and now I’m smoking hookah. Oh, and he messaged me while I was out saying he was deleting fb messenger so girl can’t contact him that way. So it’s progress I guess.

I’m not good at being patient but I’m trying.