Down the rabbit hole... ⋅ 35

I'm just me. I suck at relationships. I suck at picking people. I'm good with animals.

Entries 105

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5 days ago

Hormones... in Fresh Start...

I am crazy hormonal currently. Fuck my period. I started late Sunday night. Sunday caused a severe case of baby fever. Monday night Juno came on which upset me even further. I ended up basically...


August 14, 2017

Meeting the Dad... in Fresh Start...

F said he’d come over Friday night after he got out of work. I tried to clean up some and put clean sheets on the bed. He showed up. We hugged and kissed a bit. Took a long hot shower that inclu...


So yeah… I might be really stupid. Let’s start with the weekend… On Friday I took my cat back to the vet. He was being weird. Checked his blood, rbcs are down closer to normal than they were, but...


July 31, 2017

Monday... in Fresh Start...

I’m sitting at my desk. I’m not planning on doing anything else today. The weekend was retarded. On Friday I basically just laid there once I got home. JM texted me around 8 asking if I wanted t...


I’m really at my breaking point this week. I haven’t really seen F. And when I asked him today if I should just stop asking him to hang out he said yes. So I said ok done and unfriended him on f...


July 24, 2017

Just fuck... in Fresh Start...

I’m laying in bed currently. I should be sleeping. Everything is just over… F was originally supposed to come over last night but he cancelled on me. Basically he had decided to delete his fb in...


I really really need to give up. He’s still really obsessed with chick. He stayed over last night and this morning we were talking and I said he basically wants to go back to just being friends...


July 14, 2017

Bed... in Fresh Start...

My house is at deacon 2, maybe 1.5. All I want to do is lay in bed by myself and sleep or cry. I have zero motivation to fix it. I would like to stay here all weekend. I don’t even know if F is c...


July 10, 2017

Worse... in Fresh Start...

Things have generally just gotten worse. He’s pulled away a lot since I dropped the L bomb. He’s still hung up on other chick. I really wanted to tell him that he’s like a worm on a hook hoping t...


July 05, 2017

Bleh... in Fresh Start...

I feel pretty bleh today. I got kinda drunk last night and got sick in public… I’d only had 3.5 beers. It was ridiculous. And of course F was there so kinda embarrassing. Overall things have bee...


June 25, 2017

Little Change... in Fresh Start...

There’s been very little change. F is still staying the night. I kinda just said fuck it. I’d rather have him here and worry about how serious it is later. Tonight might actually be the first nig...


June 22, 2017

I Was Right... in Fresh Start...

So apparently my gut feeling was right. He’s still too hung up on other girl to actually be interested in me. We talked about it and I guess for now we’re still going to hang out etc but with no...


June 16, 2017

Bleh... in Fresh Start...

I’m feeling kinda bleh… but I think it’s because I’m fixing to start. I’ve had heartburn since yesterday and just feel bloated and achy today. I don’t want to do anything. I did go grocery shopp...


June 14, 2017

TMS... in Fresh Start...

So it’s been like a week and a half since F has stayed at his apartment. We’ve slowed down on sex just a bit. I finally told V today that I’m seeing someone else. He took it better than I antici...


June 11, 2017

Mmmm... in Fresh Start...

Well… he came over on Sunday and we watched Boondock Saints. We cuddled on the couch and made out constantly. We had sex that afternoon and I cooked dinner, then he ended up staying the night aga...


June 03, 2017

Brewery... in Fresh Start...

Last Tuesday, K, her hubby, and my ex hubby tried out a local brewery. They have yummy pizza and lots of different beers. F and I were messaging a fair bit this week and I was being really flirt...


June 03, 2017

Forgotten... in Fresh Start...

Ok.... I have a new story but realized it needed to be preceded by another story that I apparently didn’t tell… A couple of weekends ago, the 21st to be exact, I went to Ren Fair. Me and K dresse...


May 30, 2017

Drunk... in Book of M...

I am a wee bit drunk and hiccupy. I am stupidly head over heels in love with M. He has a useless gf. He hasn’t left her and who know if he will. And even if he does, he’s not going to be interes...


I feel like I’ve wasted the whole weekend. I’ve accomplished like nothing. I’ve done like nothing. Hoping to make up for it a little bit today, but I’m not sure. Like I’m already discouraged and ...


May 27, 2017

Long Survey in Fresh Start...

Are the shows you watch embarrassing? I don’t think so.... I’m a big fan of SUV, Criminal Minds, Nashville, Gotham, Supernatural, Bones, etc… Would you ever get plastic surgery? I think a boob li...


May 26, 2017

I'm feeling... in Book of M...

I’m really not sure… Like I’m wasting time… Like I’m never going to find anyone I actually see a future with… Like hopeless and miserable and just worthless… I took today off because I needed a 4...


May 17, 2017

Brownie... in Fresh Start...

I found a new baby goat yesterday. It’s a girl and I’m naming her Brownie. Her mom is Chocolate. Chocolate’s first kid is named Cocoa, and her twin kids are named Oreo and Diva (as in Godiva), so...


Been a little bit since I wrote. First off…I bought a new vehicle on Monday. It was not a need, but a want. I currently have a really old pickup that I use for hauling trash and straw, as well as...


May 04, 2017

Maybe later... in Fresh Start...

I really just want to say “fuck” a lot right now and leave it at that. No particular reason. Just sick of everything. And most everyone. Like I’m sick of being lonely but I also kinda just want t...


I’m just jealous. M and I have been off for a while. He hasn’t been complaining about his gf and he’s been more social with F at work than me. So I kinda feel the need to not socialize with F an...


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