Down the rabbit hole... ⋅ 35

I'm just me. I suck at relationships. I suck at picking people. I'm good with animals.

Entries 122

Page 1 of 5

1 day ago

Sick... in Fresh Start...

Laying in bed sick. I don’t want to do anything. I was feeling a bit off on Friday and woke up Saturday morning feeling like hell. Haven’t done much… Talked to F on Friday because I had to beca...


Ok… this is probably tmi so fair warning… I was talking to J at work… I think it was one day last week… anyways, he starts talking about F and the bar slut. First, J refers to her as “swamp thing...


October 10, 2017

Not Sure Why... in Fresh Start...

I’m laying here crying and I’m not really sure why. I really miss him. I don’t even know why. We haven’t talked in weeks. He’s still screwing some bar slut. And I’m laying here alone, miserable, ...


October 07, 2017

What the Fuck? in Fresh Start...

Ok… had the ortho appt on Wednesday. They look up my MRI that I had done last year… tell me according to that I have a tear in the cartilage in my hip. First I’ve heard of it??? So now I have to ...


October 02, 2017

Might As Well... in Fresh Start...

Explain the other fucked up stuff. My ex bf from last year… the addict that I’d been with for 2.5 years. Keep in mind he wasn’t acting all full blown addict/alcoholic until the last like 6 month...


September 29, 2017

Daydreaming... in Fresh Start...

I’m still daydreaming… hoping that this will all go away and he’ll magically realize what he’s missing. I daydream that he talks to me at work and says he misses me and wants to try again. That h...


September 26, 2017

I Miss Him... in Fresh Start...

Terribly… I miss being curled up in bed. I miss him holding me and kissing my forehead. I miss showering together. I miss how sweet he was to my animals. And him sitting at the counter eating bre...


September 24, 2017

I Just Don't Know... in Fresh Start...

I don’t know how I feel. Then again I’m really trying to just not feel anything. I haven’t talked to him in like a week. He’s off Wednesdays and Thursdays and he took this past Tuesday off. He w...


September 19, 2017

Not Like That... in Fresh Start...

Well, I need to throw in the towel and stop feeling sorry for myself. F says he just doesn’t have feelings for me like that and wants to be friends. Fuck that. I’m in love with you. I’m not inte...


September 17, 2017

At Least... in Fresh Start...

At least I finally started. I’ve been really down. Everything is all fucked up. What’s really sad is that a big part of me still wants him. So badly. I confronted him. I asked him why he wasn’t...


September 12, 2017

I Give Up... in Fresh Start...

I really don’t want to exist. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of trusting the wrong people. I’m tired of getting hurt. Every little tidbit of information that I have to hear about him at work jus...


September 08, 2017

Dearest F... in Fresh Start...

Dearest F, I loved you. I was obviously really fucking stupid, but I loved you. For the first time in quite a while I thought I’d found someone that I could have a future with. Alas, I was wrong....


September 05, 2017

Overwhelmed... in Fresh Start...

I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed. I’m sitting at work, but I don’t want to do anything. Like I am sooo unmotivated to do anything. And there’s stuff I need to do, but I’m just not sure I car...


September 03, 2017

F Off... in Fresh Start...

F was kinda talking to me again… yesterday afternoon I was talking to him about maybe coming over last night and drinking with me. I didn’t figure he’d agree. And the night was all super fucked u...


August 31, 2017

Moonshine... in Fresh Start...

It tries to make everything better, but fails miserably. Oh look, we have something in common. Last night, dinner consisted of moonshine. I was at work and J had just gotten back with pizza and ...


I feel really hurt today. I just want to cry. Ok I am crying. Earlier today I was sitting and talking with M. F gets to work and comes over and basically ignores me and starts talking to M. He s...


I’m just feeling miserable. F came over Saturday night and Sunday morning was fantastic… Like we stayed in bed having sex and cuddling for like 3 hours. Got up, made breakfast, checked on my cat...


August 16, 2017

Hormones... in Fresh Start...

I am crazy hormonal currently. Fuck my period. I started late Sunday night. Sunday caused a severe case of baby fever. Monday night Juno came on which upset me even further. I ended up basically...


August 13, 2017

Meeting the Dad... in Fresh Start...

F said he’d come over Friday night after he got out of work. I tried to clean up some and put clean sheets on the bed. He showed up. We hugged and kissed a bit. Took a long hot shower that inclu...


So yeah… I might be really stupid. Let’s start with the weekend… On Friday I took my cat back to the vet. He was being weird. Checked his blood, rbcs are down closer to normal than they were, but...


July 31, 2017

Monday... in Fresh Start...

I’m sitting at my desk. I’m not planning on doing anything else today. The weekend was retarded. On Friday I basically just laid there once I got home. JM texted me around 8 asking if I wanted t...


I’m really at my breaking point this week. I haven’t really seen F. And when I asked him today if I should just stop asking him to hang out he said yes. So I said ok done and unfriended him on f...


July 24, 2017

Just fuck... in Fresh Start...

I’m laying in bed currently. I should be sleeping. Everything is just over… F was originally supposed to come over last night but he cancelled on me. Basically he had decided to delete his fb in...


I really really need to give up. He’s still really obsessed with chick. He stayed over last night and this morning we were talking and I said he basically wants to go back to just being friends...


July 14, 2017

Bed... in Fresh Start...

My house is at deacon 2, maybe 1.5. All I want to do is lay in bed by myself and sleep or cry. I have zero motivation to fix it. I would like to stay here all weekend. I don’t even know if F is c...


Books 2


35 Entries
Public

87 Entries
Public

Sidebar content coming soon.