Down the rabbit hole... ⋅ 35

I'm just me. I suck at relationships. I suck at picking people. I'm good with animals.

Entries 95

Page 1 of 4

There’s been very little change. F is still staying the night. I kinda just said fuck it. I’d rather have him here and worry about how serious it is later. Tonight might actually be the first nig...


So apparently my gut feeling was right. He’s still too hung up on other girl to actually be interested in me. We talked about it and I guess for now we’re still going to hang out etc but with no...


June 15, 2017

Bleh... in Fresh Start...

I’m feeling kinda bleh… but I think it’s because I’m fixing to start. I’ve had heartburn since yesterday and just feel bloated and achy today. I don’t want to do anything. I did go grocery shopp...


June 13, 2017

TMS... in Fresh Start...

So it’s been like a week and a half since F has stayed at his apartment. We’ve slowed down on sex just a bit. I finally told V today that I’m seeing someone else. He took it better than I antici...


June 11, 2017

Mmmm... in Fresh Start...

Well… he came over on Sunday and we watched Boondock Saints. We cuddled on the couch and made out constantly. We had sex that afternoon and I cooked dinner, then he ended up staying the night aga...


June 03, 2017

Brewery... in Fresh Start...

Last Tuesday, K, her hubby, and my ex hubby tried out a local brewery. They have yummy pizza and lots of different beers. F and I were messaging a fair bit this week and I was being really flirt...


June 03, 2017

Forgotten... in Fresh Start...

Ok.... I have a new story but realized it needed to be preceded by another story that I apparently didn’t tell… A couple of weekends ago, the 21st to be exact, I went to Ren Fair. Me and K dresse...


May 29, 2017

Drunk... in Book of M...

I am a wee bit drunk and hiccupy. I am stupidly head over heels in love with M. He has a useless gf. He hasn’t left her and who know if he will. And even if he does, he’s not going to be interes...


I feel like I’ve wasted the whole weekend. I’ve accomplished like nothing. I’ve done like nothing. Hoping to make up for it a little bit today, but I’m not sure. Like I’m already discouraged and ...


May 27, 2017

Long Survey in Fresh Start...

Are the shows you watch embarrassing? I don’t think so.... I’m a big fan of SUV, Criminal Minds, Nashville, Gotham, Supernatural, Bones, etc… Would you ever get plastic surgery? I think a boob li...


May 26, 2017

I'm feeling... in Book of M...

I’m really not sure… Like I’m wasting time… Like I’m never going to find anyone I actually see a future with… Like hopeless and miserable and just worthless… I took today off because I needed a 4...


May 17, 2017

Brownie... in Fresh Start...

I found a new baby goat yesterday. It’s a girl and I’m naming her Brownie. Her mom is Chocolate. Chocolate’s first kid is named Cocoa, and her twin kids are named Oreo and Diva (as in Godiva), so...


Been a little bit since I wrote. First off…I bought a new vehicle on Monday. It was not a need, but a want. I currently have a really old pickup that I use for hauling trash and straw, as well as...


May 03, 2017

Maybe later... in Fresh Start...

I really just want to say “fuck” a lot right now and leave it at that. No particular reason. Just sick of everything. And most everyone. Like I’m sick of being lonely but I also kinda just want t...


I’m just jealous. M and I have been off for a while. He hasn’t been complaining about his gf and he’s been more social with F at work than me. So I kinda feel the need to not socialize with F an...


April 29, 2017

Motivation... in Fresh Start...

I really suck at it. Like I’ve accomplished very little today. I woke up with a headache this morning but like 4 Excedrin fixed that. Last night was fun, but I feel like I spent more time at the ...


April 28, 2017

Welts... in Fresh Start...

I had started this entry and then somehow dozed off and hit the back button and fucked it up… let’s see if I can remember where I was. JM is just an issue. Despite me clearly saying that this was...


That’s what another writer calls me. She’s pretty right. Only problem… I really suck at it. I read an article earlier about 10 things that alpha women need in a relationship. In the preface they ...


April 20, 2017

Massage... in Fresh Start...

I have a massage scheduled for today. K bought me a groupon for Christmas. I need the relaxation. I’m currently just tired and sore. My period is in full force and I need to do pt exercises for ...


April 19, 2017

Boys are dumb... in Fresh Start...

So dumb… So today F comes up to me and kinda mumbles that he was confused and would be kewl with hanging out… So I guess he thought I was propositioning him for sex? Or can’t read? Not sure which...


April 17, 2017

I feel dumb... in Fresh Start...

Like extremely dumb… I was messaging with F on fb earlier. Just chatting. This is basically how the conversation went: Me: I was going to say earlier that we could hang out sometime but figured t...


April 14, 2017

Realizing... in Book of M...

I think I’m finally beginning to realize that M was just this pipe dream that was never going to happen. For a long time after I kicked out my ex bf I was constantly asking myself why I wasn’t e...


April 10, 2017

Fucked up... in Fresh Start...

Work has been fucked up lately. Meeting on Friday almost seemed like it was going to end in a fight. My boss’s boss is too big for his britches and tries to micromanage everything. I think he’s f...


April 05, 2017

Exclusion... in Book of M...

This may sound stupid. But I can’t help how I feel. My profession is mainly male dominated. The only other woman at my plant is an administrative assistant chick. There aren’t very many women in ...


Most definitely. Today wholeheartedly reaffirmed that belief. When I want to talk to someone or need to, there’s no one there, but if I’m busy, you better believe everyone is texting me. I have...


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