Down the rabbit hole... ⋅ 34

I'm just me. I suck at relationships. I suck at picking people. I'm good with animals.

Entries 84

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6 days ago

Brownie... in Fresh Start...

I found a new baby goat yesterday. It’s a girl and I’m naming her Brownie. Her mom is Chocolate. Chocolate’s first kid is named Cocoa, and her twin kids are named Oreo and Diva (as in Godiva), so...


Been a little bit since I wrote. First off…I bought a new vehicle on Monday. It was not a need, but a want. I currently have a really old pickup that I use for hauling trash and straw, as well as...


May 03, 2017

Maybe later... in Fresh Start...

I really just want to say “fuck” a lot right now and leave it at that. No particular reason. Just sick of everything. And most everyone. Like I’m sick of being lonely but I also kinda just want t...


I’m just jealous. M and I have been off for a while. He hasn’t been complaining about his gf and he’s been more social with F at work than me. So I kinda feel the need to not socialize with F an...


April 29, 2017

Motivation... in Fresh Start...

I really suck at it. Like I’ve accomplished very little today. I woke up with a headache this morning but like 4 Excedrin fixed that. Last night was fun, but I feel like I spent more time at the ...


April 28, 2017

Welts... in Fresh Start...

I had started this entry and then somehow dozed off and hit the back button and fucked it up… let’s see if I can remember where I was. JM is just an issue. Despite me clearly saying that this was...


That’s what another writer calls me. She’s pretty right. Only problem… I really suck at it. I read an article earlier about 10 things that alpha women need in a relationship. In the preface they ...


April 20, 2017

Massage... in Fresh Start...

I have a massage scheduled for today. K bought me a groupon for Christmas. I need the relaxation. I’m currently just tired and sore. My period is in full force and I need to do pt exercises for ...


April 19, 2017

Boys are dumb... in Fresh Start...

So dumb… So today F comes up to me and kinda mumbles that he was confused and would be kewl with hanging out… So I guess he thought I was propositioning him for sex? Or can’t read? Not sure which...


April 17, 2017

I feel dumb... in Fresh Start...

Like extremely dumb… I was messaging with F on fb earlier. Just chatting. This is basically how the conversation went: Me: I was going to say earlier that we could hang out sometime but figured t...


April 14, 2017

Realizing... in Book of M...

I think I’m finally beginning to realize that M was just this pipe dream that was never going to happen. For a long time after I kicked out my ex bf I was constantly asking myself why I wasn’t e...


April 10, 2017

Fucked up... in Fresh Start...

Work has been fucked up lately. Meeting on Friday almost seemed like it was going to end in a fight. My boss’s boss is too big for his britches and tries to micromanage everything. I think he’s f...


April 05, 2017

Exclusion... in Book of M...

This may sound stupid. But I can’t help how I feel. My profession is mainly male dominated. The only other woman at my plant is an administrative assistant chick. There aren’t very many women in ...


Most definitely. Today wholeheartedly reaffirmed that belief. When I want to talk to someone or need to, there’s no one there, but if I’m busy, you better believe everyone is texting me. I have...


March 29, 2017

Better... in Fresh Start...

Monday was just a really bad day. Tuesday K and my ex hubby came over as usual. C was texting me but when I told him he was welcome to come over, he was too busy cleaning or something. I haven’t...


March 27, 2017

Lonely... in Fresh Start...

I’m not sure what my problem is. I feel extremely lonely. I hate being home alone. I’m entirely unmotivated. I want to talk to someone, but at the same time, I feel like a complete bother. I thi...


March 24, 2017

Fantasy Life... in Book of M...

My daydreams have gotten a little out of control… It’s late. You text me. Almost illegibly. Drowning your feelings in fireball. Wanting to talk to someone. But not a guy because then you couldn’t...


March 24, 2017

Gah... in Book of M...

Ok… so I’m so just done and bored with C. When I describe the sex as boring and mediocre at best… and oh so vanilla. Not that I’m a total freak in bed, but just gah… I’ve been super busy at work...


I’m incredibly stressed out. A lot of it is work related, but the more I stress, the less I seem to accomplish. My dating life is also a source of stress. I need to give up. On everything. Curre...


March 09, 2017

Catch Up... in Fresh Start...

It’s been just a bit since I’ve written. Lots of stuff has happened. First… I went on a date with C. I honestly expected it to be awkward and just not go all that well. I mean, at that point I’d...


February 28, 2017

Just embarrassing... in Fresh Start...

So yeah… I was feeling stressed most of the weekend. Between still being sick and mother nature and not wanting to deal with work and not being able to just have sex for stress relief it was pret...


February 26, 2017

Cough... cough... in Fresh Start...

I’m so sick of coughing. Asthmatic bronchitis can go to hell. I’m finally feeling better, except the whole not being able to breathe thing. Then of course mother nature decided to make an appeara...


February 22, 2017

Survey... in Fresh Start...

Be honest; name of the last person to text you? V… that’s all you’re getting. This time last year what was your relationship status? I was attached, for over 2 years actually. What is the 15th te...


February 21, 2017

Sick again... in Fresh Start...

I’ve been in bed sick since Friday afternoon. I felt off on Thursday, then woke up Friday with awful chest congestion but went to work anyways. By the time I got home on Friday I was done and I b...


February 09, 2017

Long Week... in Book of M...

It’s just been very long so far. Been busy at work catching up on a bunch of evaluations and stuff. No M to make the day go by faster. Haven’t heard from him at all actually. H texted me the othe...


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