Medisinn ⋅ 37
I started out on TOD way back in 2001 and then was on OD for quite a few years, often neglecting it. I often neglect this too. I might do something noteworthy someday, until then I'm just some dude.
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Entries 111
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Today was the most productive day I’ve had in a while. I went and got some groceries, made spam musubi for the first time in a while, and dyed my hair. Not that that’s a lot of activity, but more...
Hell Jammin' in 2017
There’s literally nothing different since my last entry a week ago, except I got a haircut. That was the highlight of my Saturday. Got a haircut, went to Uwajimaya to get food before doing drivin...
Ramshackled in 2017
I feel like I’m going insane. I tried to pull an all-nighter a couple nights ago to reset my sorry-ass sleep schedule, but fell victim to a nap that ended up being several naps hidden in one. I a...
Obfuscation in 2017
Well, thinking back to the last entry, I was right. I couldn’t sleep until about 9AM. Even after waking up later, I still didn’t feel good. And through most of the week. It seems likely that I’ve...
Nullification in 2017
I can feel it’ll be one of those sleepless nights. Just a feeling. We had the “Mozzarella and Margaritas” party that some friends hosted earlier, that was super fun. I could just tell on the driv...
Well. I’ve been out for about three hours tonight, and I’ve made 8 bucks. It was also dead as fuck last night. Like, what happened? Were the majority of people in downtown Portland abducted by al...
Despairanoia in 2017
It’s another night sitting in my car downtown, waiting for my phone to ping with a ride. Seems like it’s these times that nudge me to come back here. I’ll forget for a while, and then want to wa...
Is this over? Keep your eyes closed Until I have gone Pushing men away All of these years Do they seem so long? There’s no consequence For cowardice Apart from loneliness There’s no vengeance The...
From Under Castle Keep in 2016
Barf. Just had to spend 400 bucks to get something fixed on my car. That definitely puts me in the hole a bit. As long as I work my ass off the rest of the month, I’ll be fine. In fact, I have no...
Something Hurts In Time in 2016
I felt so frustrated earlier. Somehow, I ended up going to where I was supposed to drop off a passenger for an Uber ride, only I never picked them up in the first place. I was convinced I was goi...
The Hell We Share in 2016
I’m out and about, doing Lyft driving. Quiet night so far. Nevermind. It picked up just as I was starting this. And now it’s quiet again. I wouldn’t bother on a Thursday, but rent is due and my r...
It's About Time in 2016
I fail to keep a presence here because I don’t have enough time. Time. It’s such a precious commodity. When I was younger, I would have given it away in spades. Boredom was the biggest enemy, a r...
New Way Rocks in 2016
Well, tonight is a weird night. I actually haven’t had a lot of free time lately, though I am still terrible about catching up. I always want to read every entry I’ve missed from my favorites bef...
Blank Page in 2016
Shit, I went a whole month without updating. I certainly thought about it, but I need to catch up on entries, so I kept waiting for a night to do that at home. Before I was reading them while wai...
Find A Way in 2016
I’m broke. It’s annoying. I feel like I don’t spend that much, and I definitely don’t really go out and do anything fun, but I’m still a little short for my car insurance after rent. I did a litt...
Commit or Acquit in 2016
Out trying to drive. No luck so far. I did my first couple Uber rides last night. Pretty similar to Lyft, though not as convenient. The first ride was a really cool and cute chick, probably shoul...
I’m finally basically better after being sick for two weeks. I returned to the gym last night, felt amazing to be working out again. I slept a lot last night and this morning. I had intended to g...
Still Counting in 2016
It’s early Tuesday morning. I’m still sick…it feels as if nothing has changed since I really started feeling off Friday. I cough so much I get headaches, and it makes it hard to sleep. I called i...
The Sadness of the Swamps in 2016
Thank you for all the notes. They have been helpful. Quite a few of my friends in Medford messaged me also asking how I was doing. They all knew her too, though most weren’t as close to her as I ...
I’m still really sick. I struggled through work without letting on. I’m doing my best to keep up appearances. A couple people asked me if I was okay, I lied of course. Although, that will be hard...
Blindsided in 2016
Ugh. My brain is melting. I’m eating all the goddamn breakfast Hot Pockets and no one can stop me. I’m definitely getting sick. My throat hurt this morning and it’s only gotten worse. I have a ma...
Today was stressful. It was busy all day. I’m a supervisor, but lately all I do is do phlebotomy. Like, 100% of the time unless I’m doing closing management stuff. I feel like I should do other t...
We Can Rest Our Bones in 2016
It’s another lonely night parked on the side of the street, waiting for life to happen downown. Only one ride so far. I’ve only made 40 bucks in 4 or 5 hours this week. Seems the Lyft well is dry...
Crash and Burn in Lyrics
The words spill out of me these days. Mostly because of her. I am deep into 80s throwback synth music so that’s what I’m picturing this coming out like, maybe a little harder. I know the thought ...
Everlasting Light in 2016
Don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight either. It’s the opposite of last night. Instead of dread, doubt and anxiety, I feel crazed euphoria. I feel like I’m full of energy. I didn’t end up get...
