Apoplexy in 2017

Well. I’ve been out for about three hours tonight, and I’ve made 8 bucks. It was also dead as fuck last night. Like, what happened? Were the majority of people in downtown Portland abducted by aliens and I didn’t hear about it? It’s super nice out. People are walking around. Did they decide to start being healthy and walk everywhere instead of taking rides?

I even took a nap earlier since I figured it would be busier later. I need to make my car payment and also rent, so…yeah. Come on you drunk bastards, I know you’re here. This is Portland. It only consists of eateries, strip clubs, and breweries. Casually drinking is an occupation here.

It is seeming like perhaps I should start looking for a normal job again. Doing what, I’m not sure. Whatever it is will be less fun than this, pay theoretically less, and make my schedule more difficult, but I need stability. Always being worried my car will break down and then having that happen and needing to dump several hundred dollars into it is not a great feeling. Also, it has already happened several times. Plus, sometimes no one wants a ride apparently. I like the nice weather we are finally getting, but this shit makes me wish it would rain every day. I’m either living in a Phil Collins song or a Garbage one. Maybe both.

If you like scary games, Resident Evil 7 is poop-your-pants good. For some reason, one of my friends that visited earlier in the weel had rented it and brought it up. I suppose so I would play it and spoop my pants. Even with having two friends watching and another one sleeping and sawing logs professionally, it was terrifying. I suppose I should rent it myself to finish it.

They came up to hike Multnomah Falls, which is about an hour away. There are a few different waterfalls. I think the plan was to go chasing them, but Peter ruined that with general insanity. We went to the biggest, steepest path first, intending to just look at it from a low bridge and then leave for other, smaller areas to hike up. He decided we needed to RUN up the thing and not enjoy it, so he bolted and we had to follow him, as there was no cell reception. It was also kind of cold and SUPER rainy the whole time.

Jesus, maybe my Lyft app isn’t working. That would be a small, simple error that would completely destroy this fragile, one-person driving operation.

Anyway, it was good to see the guys. It’s usually me going down to Medford to visit people and picking up Peter on the way. I can count on one hand the times any of them have visited here.

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Whoops. I started writing that, got distracted by a ride, and never got back to it. It was a couple weeks ago. I am the worst. Spring break did suck though, the whole weekend sucked. I barely made any money and worked crazy long into the morning to make up for it.

Work has been better since then. I have been sick, then better, then sick again for a couple weeks so I’ve slacked off. I am eternally paranoid about my car and continually feel weird when it drives normally. Whadyagonnado.

School feels more manageable this term. I dropped C++ 2 and am retaking it with a MUCH better teacher. My math teacher this term is weirdly charismatic and fascinating. A man probably in his 60s that I think is from India. The class is in a computer lab (why?) and I suck at understanding anyone with any accent, so that is tough. He has crazy amounts of energy and interesting analogies to relate math to real life though. I skipped my first two days of school last week and also tennis from being sick.

Boxing…geezus. My body is not ready. I did not expect half an hour of cardio, lunges, squats, planks, push-ups and more before learning punches in a community college boxing class. I couldn’t work out yesterday due to being so sore from class Tuesday. I can only imagine what today’s class will do to me tomorrow. I love it.

I wonder if the whole “succumb to the shittiness of modern dating and sleep with someone immediately” thing has run its course. I talked about this with the roommate a couple weeks back. One of our friends brought one of her single friends over (he is 6‘7 and talks like Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec, thus I named him Giant Wyatt) in hopes of him and Ella(the roomie) hitting it off. Eventually just the three of us were left, watching YouTube. I am a proper wingman, so I excused myself to bed. They had sex, and Giant Wyatt has been a distant since. Would it have been different if they hadn’t? I don’t know. In my experiences, there were times when I wanted to wait, and as a result they lost interest and I didn’t have another chance. Damned either way.

On the other side of that, a couple days ago I gave two women a ride to Buffalo Wild Wings. They said I should come in and hang out with them, so I did. It was fun, they’re entertaining. Jessica is my age and Sandy is 40, but looks 25. I’m pretty sure Jessica is single, she’s cute. They had already been drinking and drank more there. For some reason how she was drunk reminded me of how my mom is when drunk. Isn’t there some thing about how men tend to marry someone like their mother? After a bit some dude friend of Jessica’s showed up. Seemed platonic. We hung out until the place closed and then I drove the girls home and left. Hopefully we’ll hang out again. Who knows what could happen in time if we do. Maybe nothing will happen. The allure and mystery remains. Would it and all possibilities been nixed if we had slept together? Who knows.

I gave up on innocence, love, and all that shit a while ago. It would be nice to fall in love with a nice girl where things escalate slowly and we don’t fuck on the first date, but a lot of things in life would be nice. I just want my roommate to be happy and find someone. And then have him move in so I can pay less rent haha. It is tough though, everyone else in our Portland crew is part of a couple, mostly married. It can double down on the single shittiness at times, especially since they are all good couples. All but one seem like great couples that will for sure make it the distance.

I’ve been gaming more, either Terraria online with a couple Medford friends or Persona 4 Golden by myself. Late at night. Too late. Not a good habit, but an amazing game. Why did I wait so long to play it? Hopefully after this weekend I can fork over the money for the new one. I usually don’t care about pre-order bonuses, but the pre-order set is still available online…and I want it. I think I’m more excited about having more music to listen to than the game itself. I listen to the soundtracks for 3 and 4 a lot, as well as the remix albums, which there are an oddly large amount of. Those games are about a protagonist who is a high schooler. You go to school, hang out with friends and go on dates to make connections with people that help you make stronger demons to fight enemy demons with. I really enjoy modern day realistic settings where unrealistic stuff happens. I also identify weirdly with those games. Often when I an hanging out with friends or even a girl, I go out of my head here and there. It feels like something in those games. Or maybe I have just played Persona 3 too much and think about my Social Links when hang out with people haha.

Still, even outside of that, I think of life in video game terms. Doing Lyft driving makes me think of doing cab missions in Grand Theft Auto. I mean, I drive there, people get in, I follow where the GPS tells me to go, and then money appears on the screen. I…can’t think of any other analogies at the moment. Somewhere I have them written down. Peter half-jokes about making a book about life told through game analogies if we think of enough of them.

Oh yeah. The other night I was giving a couple a ride home. A car pulls up and motions for us to roll down the window. It turns out to be the one dude’s best friend’s twin sister. We end up at several lights together and they talk. Right before we part ways, she tells him to call his friend, and that she has cancer. Just casually out the window. What the fuck! Who does that? The guy was super distressed the rest of the way home, hos boyfriend and I tried to console him. I mean, you’d think it wouldn’t be super serious if it was told so casually. Maybe she just has toe cancer or something. It’s not THAT interesting, but shockingly, people that take Lyft rides are usually normal and boring.