Entries 315

Page 9 of 13

I don’t know how I feel. Then again I’m really trying to just not feel anything. I haven’t talked to him in like a week. He’s off Wednesdays and Thursdays and he took this past Tuesday off. He w...

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Well, I need to throw in the towel and stop feeling sorry for myself. F says he just doesn’t have feelings for me like that and wants to be friends. Fuck that. I’m in love with you. I’m not inte...

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At least I finally started. I’ve been really down. Everything is all fucked up. What’s really sad is that a big part of me still wants him. So badly. I confronted him. I asked him why he wasn’t...

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I really don’t want to exist. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of trusting the wrong people. I’m tired of getting hurt. Every little tidbit of information that I have to hear about him at work jus...

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Dearest F, I loved you. I was obviously really fucking stupid, but I loved you. For the first time in quite a while I thought I’d found someone that I could have a future with. Alas, I was wrong....

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I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed. I’m sitting at work, but I don’t want to do anything. Like I am sooo unmotivated to do anything. And there’s stuff I need to do, but I’m just not sure I car...

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F was kinda talking to me again… yesterday afternoon I was talking to him about maybe coming over last night and drinking with me. I didn’t figure he’d agree. And the night was all super fucked u...

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It tries to make everything better, but fails miserably. Oh look, we have something in common. Last night, dinner consisted of moonshine. I was at work and J had just gotten back with pizza and ...

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I feel really hurt today. I just want to cry. Ok I am crying. Earlier today I was sitting and talking with M. F gets to work and comes over and basically ignores me and starts talking to M. He s...

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I’m just feeling miserable. F came over Saturday night and Sunday morning was fantastic… Like we stayed in bed having sex and cuddling for like 3 hours. Got up, made breakfast, checked on my cat...

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I am crazy hormonal currently. Fuck my period. I started late Sunday night. Sunday caused a severe case of baby fever. Monday night Juno came on which upset me even further. I ended up basically...

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F said he’d come over Friday night after he got out of work. I tried to clean up some and put clean sheets on the bed. He showed up. We hugged and kissed a bit. Took a long hot shower that inclu...

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So yeah… I might be really stupid. Let’s start with the weekend… On Friday I took my cat back to the vet. He was being weird. Checked his blood, rbcs are down closer to normal than they were, but...

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I’m sitting at my desk. I’m not planning on doing anything else today. The weekend was retarded. On Friday I basically just laid there once I got home. JM texted me around 8 asking if I wanted t...

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I’m really at my breaking point this week. I haven’t really seen F. And when I asked him today if I should just stop asking him to hang out he said yes. So I said ok done and unfriended him on f...

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I’m laying in bed currently. I should be sleeping. Everything is just over… F was originally supposed to come over last night but he cancelled on me. Basically he had decided to delete his fb in...

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I really really need to give up. He’s still really obsessed with chick. He stayed over last night and this morning we were talking and I said he basically wants to go back to just being friends...

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My house is at deacon 2, maybe 1.5. All I want to do is lay in bed by myself and sleep or cry. I have zero motivation to fix it. I would like to stay here all weekend. I don’t even know if F is c...

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Things have generally just gotten worse. He’s pulled away a lot since I dropped the L bomb. He’s still hung up on other chick. I really wanted to tell him that he’s like a worm on a hook hoping t...

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I feel pretty bleh today. I got kinda drunk last night and got sick in public… I’d only had 3.5 beers. It was ridiculous. And of course F was there so kinda embarrassing. Overall things have bee...

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There’s been very little change. F is still staying the night. I kinda just said fuck it. I’d rather have him here and worry about how serious it is later. Tonight might actually be the first nig...

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So apparently my gut feeling was right. He’s still too hung up on other girl to actually be interested in me. We talked about it and I guess for now we’re still going to hang out etc but with no...

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I’m feeling kinda bleh… but I think it’s because I’m fixing to start. I’ve had heartburn since yesterday and just feel bloated and achy today. I don’t want to do anything. I did go grocery shopp...

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So it’s been like a week and a half since F has stayed at his apartment. We’ve slowed down on sex just a bit. I finally told V today that I’m seeing someone else. He took it better than I antici...

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Well… he came over on Sunday and we watched Boondock Saints. We cuddled on the couch and made out constantly. We had sex that afternoon and I cooked dinner, then he ended up staying the night aga...

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