Down the rabbit hole... ⋅ 41

I'm just me. I suck at relationships. I suck at picking people. I'm good with animals.

Entries 315

Page 5 of 13

September 18, 2018

Not Sure... in 2018

I’m just feeling a little down tonight. Not really sure why. Sometimes I think I might be bipolar. Because sometimes I’m just really happy and energetic and other times I dwell on everything neg...


September 17, 2018

Weekend... in 2018

So me and my bff and her hubby went to Memphis for the weekend. My weekend started off horribly, but not because of them. On Friday night I ran some errands… Costco and TSC. I looked up some hot...


September 12, 2018

And Go... in 2018

I started today… 1 more chance. I finally said fuck it yesterday after the negative pregnancy test and went to this guy’s apartment. I was on that side of town and he’s decent but not really for ...


September 09, 2018

Just nope... in 2018

So I talked to K and I think we got it worked out. However, I thought if we went to a different location I might get to see a friend and maybe at least get some good cuddles out of it. Then I tex...


September 04, 2018

Maybe... in 2018

Ok, so I recognize that maybe I’m being a bitch here, but I want opinions. So like a week or 2 ago my bff K started talking to me about making an Ikea trip. This isn’t the easiest thing for us b...


September 01, 2018

F... in 2018

Ok for starters… I think I forgot to mention something. Around 2 weeks ago I accidentally got a new pet… I know what you’re thinking… how do you accidentally get a new pet? Well, it really wasn’t...


August 30, 2018

Lounging... in 2018

I stayed home today. I wasn’t feeling great anyways because of the ovulation shot and insemination, but then last night around midnight my electricity went out and one of my dogs freaked out abou...


August 22, 2018

Stupid... in 2018

I feel like crying. I feel like screaming. I feel like not existing. I’ve just been so lonely and nothing is really helping. My house is a disaster because I just don’t care. Even things I use...


August 20, 2018

... in 2018

I have no title. The tests were negative and a couple days later I started. It was a painful period at that. I’m back on fertility drugs and need to schedule round 2. F has just been distant and ...


August 12, 2018

I feel... in 2018

I feel like I’m pregnant but I don’t want to get my hopes up. I was pretty sore and bleh for a while. My boobs didn’t start hurting until like Thursday and they’re still sore. My boobs aren’t ty...


August 08, 2018

Bleh... in 2018

I stayed home today bc I just felt bad. I woke up with a sore throat and my left ear hurting. On top of the everything else hurting I said fuck it going back to bed. Tomorrow I have to go to the...


August 02, 2018

Bitch... in 2018

My sister is a fucking bitch. I told her all about my IUI process, but I very specifically told her to not share anything with either of our parents. I wasn’t ready to tell my parents about i...


August 02, 2018

Explain... in 2018

I really don’t get boys sometimes. For the past several days M has been being a complete dick. I’m not entirely sure why. I was kinda wondering if B had let it slip about F and I, but I don’t thi...


August 01, 2018

IUI... in 2018

It’s done. Got the ultrasound and shot on Monday. That shot made me a bit of an emotional wreck. Then got inseminated on Tuesday. I have to wait 2 weeks to take a pregnancy test and find out. Kee...


July 27, 2018

Argh... in 2018

I just don’t get guys.... or maybe I’m just that fucking needy? I dunno. I feel like I’m always initiating communication so I decided not to. So of course I didn’t hear from him at all yesterday ...


July 25, 2018

Love Language... in 2018

Physical touch is definitely my love language of choice. I tried to explain this to M last week and I think he understands a little better now. I like hugs. They make me feel better. And when I’m...


July 25, 2018

Not Good Enough... in 2018

This seems to be a running theme with me. And I really dislike it. My ex bf from over 2 years ago… he made me feel like that. Like drugs and alcohol were always way more important than me. That ...


July 19, 2018

So So... in 2018

Last night started off a bit rocky… at least for me. For starters I felt like a fat cow because period and bloated and just ugh. So I ended up wearing jeans and a tshirt instead of the dress I wa...


July 17, 2018

Movie... in 2018

So F and I have been texting a bit. He texted me quite a bit on Sunday. I finally got to see him on Monday. I hugged on him a little bit and snuck a few quick kisses. I was glad to finally be abl...


July 15, 2018

Really People... in 2018

Yesterday I went to my friend’s kid’s birthday party. Her girls are my goddaughters and I love them to death. I’ve known their mom since we were 10 years old. We went to school together, played b...


July 13, 2018

Confused... in 2018

I’m just confused and stressed. I guess I got my hopes up. I didn’t mean to, but I guess I just thought if he was kissing me again that it might go somewhere? I know he’s going through a major ...


July 10, 2018

Not Your Average Day... in 2018

Yesterday was kinda just exhausting. First, apparently yesterday morning F went to the gym. When he got back, he found his mom dead. Now, he knew her cancer had spread and that it was probably i...


I couldn’t really let another person go through what I did. My ex that showed up like a week ago… he had left his fb signed in on my computer and I don’t really get on it much. There were several...


July 04, 2018

Mmmm... in 2018

I kicked my ex bf out on Sunday bc he broke my no drinking rule. He has since been messaging me saying he wants to kill himself and professing his undying love. I told him to go to a hospital. Y...


June 30, 2018

What the Fucking Fuck??? in 2018

Today has been insane. Well, let’s start with the small stuff. Had a hip dr appointment. He looked at my finger and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. Good thing too because it started oozi...


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