Not Your Average Day... in 2018

Yesterday was kinda just exhausting.

First, apparently yesterday morning F went to the gym. When he got back, he found his mom dead. Now, he knew her cancer had spread and that it was probably inevitable. He had even talked to me about being afraid of this happening and him having to call the police etc. I just don’t think he expected it to happen this quickly. I guess at least he got to celebrate her birthday with her last week.

I had been committed to not texting him because I haven’t heard from him recently and I just refuse to chase him, but after hearing that, I had to text him. I just let him know that I’m here if he needs me or needs help with anything. And that I don’t want him to be alone going through this. He said he has to go make arrangements today. I’m probably going to leave him be unless he texts me needing something. I just think this is all going to be awkward.

Not long after that, my idiot ex called me from the hospital asking if he could stay at my house and I was just like no.... I thought I had made that pretty clear before. I told him he could come by and get the junk he left on my carport if he didn’t want it going to the dump. He acted like he was going to come by and tried to tell me he loved me as I said bye… click. Of course he never called or showed up. I’ll give him til next week and then it’s the dump.

Then I finally made a decision and ordered sperm. That cost me like 2K. It will be delivered to the clinic on the 17th. IUI should be around the 30th, so plenty of time. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Then last night I spent an hour on the phone with my sister because she’s freaking out about her hubby’s upcoming surgery. Basically his recovery time is longer than she expected, but he’s having a rib removed so yeah, it’s going to be at least 4 weeks before he can go back to work. He can’t really stay at their house because of their dogs. He will just stay at my parent’s house but because my mom didn’t explicitly tell her “yeah sure he can stay here no problem” she’s freaking out and feeling like she’s inconveniencing them. Plus the surgery is going to cause permanent nerve damage, but it’s either that or be on blood thinners for life.

So yeah… long day. I really want to just hug F, but just showing up would probably be inappropriate. We aren’t anything really.