Entries 52

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i finished dealing with my annoying ocd. everything is posted. all of it is not going to mean anything, but my brain is somewhat content now. the last one is the one that kind of matters to me. ...

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Im really tired. I should go to bed, right? WRONG! head is too full even tho it’s really empty at the moment. for a while i’ve been getting really numb. our group has started using the chat im in...

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it’s saturday night, and i am fucking grand. it’s saturday night, and i am i n f i n i t e . our group hung out today and i had a really good time. i often feel insignificant, especially in the ...

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I keep meaning to write, but by the time i remember i don’t have the energy. i did really fantastic at the high school meet yesterday. prelims and finals are next week, and then hopefully CIF. i ...

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I really miss Daniel. I want a Daniel hug. Pretty much more than anything right now I want a Daniel hug. Or to just sit on the phone with him, but preferably a hug first. Why do I push people awa...

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Im lifeguard certified! I just need to pass my hiring test on Wednesday and I’ll have a job. When I came home Theresa was out, and it felt really nice to be outside. To snatch a board and skate a...

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Grammy had an appointment for soemthing that was supposed to be done in March. They have to drive all the way to Santa Ana. Moms vision fractured and so she’s really sick and can’t drive her. We ...

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Arora favors her in person group. She’s giving them the materials for a project, and not giving much instruction at all to her “zoomies”. i’d go back in person if i didn’t have Wiedmann. i think ...

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Our meet was moved from tomorrow to today. i did pretty good, was one second off of my best times for every race, and second for every one. i didjt feel good tho. not just because of the sunburns...

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Im scared of how I feel. I left all chats on Wednesday. I finally tipped over. I couldn’t take being ignored anymore. Of course, Dylan asked what was happening. I told him to please not bother me...

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Could I be fluidflux? I didn’t know there was a genderfluid until now. After reading a little about i’d say i still identify mkre genderfluid. but now there’s a fluidflux? i keep finding things t...

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I had a dream last night that I was who people actually wanted to talk to, or rather who someone wanted to talk to. In the dream, Pele text me. She asked if we could call. At first I though she h...

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I’ve had a Thought. I always say how much i hate these hot, sunny, summer-y type days, and now i think i know why. i think i love them. like a lot. what i hate is being confined to a house during...

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i love her but i know i love them platonically. and i’m positive their affection for me is only platonic, and it’s highly possible that hers is too. everything hurts. i don’t know im getting out ...

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i need to be kissed. the need for a human presence is still there but… i really need a good kiss. ik that technically i have had a “first kiss” but i don’t count them. i mean the first real kiss....

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im not sure what to make for nana’s bday card. i know i need to make her one, and dad will be upset if i didn’t. i kind of want to try drawing papa for her, but i don’t wanna make her cry if it a...

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Pele is staying at Ssharks again. I feel terrible that it bothers me. I already know i’m not really a main part of our relationship, but it still sucks to have it emphasized. Pele can so casually...

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I feel quite empty and idk why. like numb to everything. talking to people is taking so much effort. we made characters today for each other and i was happy for a moment but i felt exhausted afte...

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its been a while. i forgot i had this little vent space and have been using my notes. my ocd is begging me to copy and paste them into the entries here so i can everything in one place and organi...

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I am confused by everything I feel for her, right now. Well, maybe no confused, so much as worried. I know nothing will come of us, as I do not want to risk our friendship, and I cannot dedicate ...

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I have been spending a lot more time with my friend group, and I am very glad. We get together almost every weekend to hangout and vent, since we do indeed always have a ton of things to vent abo...

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I am at a loss for what to do. I know I should tell her. Get it over with. Feelings out in the open for others to witness, a weight off my chest, a moment to breathe..... or to stop. I keep tryin...

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“If I ever form my own clan, we’ll be the Anti-Cheerleaders. We will not sit in the bleachers. We will wander underneath them and commit mild acts of mayhem.” -Laurie Anderson, Speak This is not ...

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My friend has been having a hard time with the breakup, even though she ended it. I understand. It was a long relationship, and though we are young, there are still strong feelings that develop, ...

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I remember being unaffected by the rain when I was younger, thinking it would only enhance the fun I could have that day. Rainy days were the best days I could have as a younger kid. Late morning...

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