Wrathnar
Entries 104
Page 4 of 5
Semi-Peace in First entry
Today was a better day. I’m finally past wanting to die. I am thankful that I have people to reach out to to when I feel hopeless. I have started to accept that I am not in control in my situ...
Answers in First entry
This will be my first post in which I am actually seeking input from the community. If you haven’t read my post, it may help provide some insight into my situation. Be prepared, a lot of it i...
Answers in First entry
This will be my first post in which I am actually seeking input from the community. If you haven’t read my post, it may help provide some insight into my situation. Be prepared, a lot of it i...
Distance in First entry
So, I am here at my shutdown trying to give her space trying to work things out in my head. Playing every detail over in my head. I’m starting to be able to calm down slightly. I’m surrenderin...
Space in First entry
I’ve started back at the beginning. Realizing I failed the test miserably. I have to pull back. I have to just love you through this and remove the pressure. I wish you would just stop with...
Why! in First entry
I’ve gotten 2 hours of sleep the last.two nights. I dont understand. What the fuck have I done so wrong? How can you not see you are about to ruin everyone’s life. 15 years invested, just go...
Anger in First entry
She came home today. Today was hell.i had to wait forever for her to get home. She kept me at a distance. She was acting weird. I had the house cleaner than it has been in a long time. I wa...
Fear in First entry
Tonight is night 2 of my struggle. After so much progress and things were going so well, we have a test. She’s out of town for work and my.mind wont freaking stop. What about Covid, the other ...
Father's Day in First entry
I sit here today thankful I’m able to spend the day with my children. One of the great mysteries of life is how to be a great dad. My dad was effectively absent since I was about 2.5 years old...
Drinking alone in First entry
Just FYI the title is a Carrie Underwood song that is pretty good. But anyhoo it a bourbon night. You will come to learn that means I’ve had a couple drinks and my inhibitions are lowered an...
Healing in First entry
Things have been going well. We are spending time together and I feel we are growing closer. There are still things that bother me, but I am trying to work through it. I’m hopeful that time wi...
Lessons in First entry
So, things have turned around dramatically. Last night she said she had no desire to leave at all. We have found a good stride together. Yesterday, as we were driving, I was looking at the wo...
Fireworks in First entry
My internet went down.....it’s been a frustrating few days trying to get it sorted out. Well, at least I’m finally able to reach my outlet. Yesterday, I was at work when she text me. She said ...
Processing in First entry
I’ve been thinking a lot today. Trying to understand why I’m craving intimacy so deeply. Maybe I’m just craving that deeper connection? Maybe I still insecure and I feel that would fill my he...
Just Thoughts in First entry
Last night we had more real talk. She was a bit angry at times, sad at others. The last couple of days has been nice. We are spending time together. She seems to actually want to be around m...
Breakthrough in First entry
Progress, sweet progress! Yesterday when I got home, she was sitting on our front porch. I knew that was a really good sign or really bad. It turns out it was really good. I had stopped by he...
Better in First entry
Today I’m stressed, but thankfully it’s only from the pile of work I have to complete. I feel like I am seeing the light of a bright future. This morning came early and we got up and did our...
Monday in First entry
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned how much I hate Monday’s. Today wasnt necessarily a bad day. It’s just we are so crazy at work. I’m super green and honestly way over my head. Combine that with...
Better in First entry
She went out shopping today. Came home.and wanted to spend time with me. This made me happy. We hugged again. Again, it was a long hug. It felt as if the world disappeared. I asked her h...
Thoughts in First entry
I sometimes wonder if I’m the only person that never stops thinking. Like seriously., am I crazy for continually reflecting and taking in information. I am finding myself wanting to put my thou...
Feelings in First entry
So, last night it happened. She shared her thoughts and feelings. I tried to listen with the intent to understand and let her share. As I reflect on it, I see there are plenty of things I could...
Touch in First entry
Today is the first morning I’ve woken up refreshed in what feels like months. Yesterday was a good day. I text her on my way home with my usual I love you and I can’t wait to see you. But, thi...
Morning in First entry
Another day another random 3 am wake up. I’m not sure why, but I just couldn’t go back to sleep. I could only think of wanting to slide over in the bed and wrap her in my arms. But, I can’t do...
Insight in First entry
Today I had important meeting at work. It was my first meeting where I was the lead Project Manager. It went well, but that’s not the biggest news of the day. I had a 3.5 hour drive to get ...
Fear in First entry
Tonight I struggled to get to sleep. My stomach in knots. My thoughts all over the place. My emotions swing from sadness, to loneliness, to anger, to fear. I just want to understand. I want t...
