Entries 124
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The incident
I’ve been avoiding writing here because of something that happened on Friday, but I told my therapist that I journaled about it, so I may as well actually journal about it. Friday was a pretty no...
More thoughts mainly for myself
I think I might have been in hardcore denial about the possible Avoidant Personality Disorder diagnosis. I’ve done A LOT more reading. And honestly, in my last session my therapist mentioned th...
Hike and Feelings About Possible New Diagnosis
I’m back at work today. I only got Christmas Eve and Christmas day off from work, but I think I’m okay with that. I’d been in kind of a funk the past few days, which resulted in me having a pre...
Yesterday's session
Therapist: “How’s your dog doing?” Me: “Oh, he’s fine now. Back to normal. Just wants to go for hikes all the time now. I forgot just just how much of a puller he is when all four legs of his...
Exhausted, but a good exhausted
Things with Tinder dude are officially over. After going yet another entire day without getting a text, the hints were beginning to set in. Which sucks because when I was with him in person and...
Untitled
I’m less ragey now that its a few days into my monthly cycle (still grumpy though!). I’ve also just been ridiculously stressed and somewhat down. The stress has to do with one of my coworkers (...
Rough
This month’s monthly visitor has me soooooooooooo grumpy. The blood flow is light, but the hormones are raging. After years of being on the pill, I can never tell if its going to be a light flo...
Communication ish
I’m annoyed, so I think that means I’m letting my emotions get involved, which is making me even more annoyed. Yesterday was another one of those days where I didn’t get a text all day from Tind...
Mid-week
The middle of the work week is the hardest. I just want his touch. But right now that seems to just be a weekend thing. I brought this up with my therapist, but didn’t bluntly put it as “righ...
Saw him again
Spent a few hours tonight with Tinder dude, this time at his house. It was nice seeing his house, meeting his dog and his two cats. His dog is to him as my dog is to me. His dog loved me, btw...
Sudden Radio Silence/Finished Hat Pic/Dog Pic
Not to sound like I’m letting my emotions get involved, but its 9pm and I haven’t received a text from Tinder dude all day. And I don’t like the way that’s sitting in my stomach. I’ve only sent...
Thursday Thoughts
I will more than likely be seeing Tinder dude again this weekend :D But, I’m not trying to let those emotions get in the away. He said he might be available late Friday night but should for sur...
Thoughts on a Tuesday
Right now I’m doing my darndest to not get emotionally attached to Tinder dude. I’m sort of viewing this as a “something fun” for the time being. And it serves as a great reminder that there is...
Happy feelings
Soooo the date last night was....amazing and much more needed than I even knew. We met at a bar/restaurant and were there for over 3 hours talking! I told myself that I would only have 2 cockta...
Date
Not that my emotions have been on an emotional rollercoaster as of late due to the dog situation, but I’ve somehow landed myself a date tonight. In my upswing of happy emotions, I made a return t...
tumor is benign
so we (I) can all go back to our regular scheduled programming now. Vet called me at 9am this morning with the results, and I’m pretty sure I made her entire day with my blubbering excitement. ...
Dog Surgery/Cancelled WI Trip
Guys, I’m sorry I haven’t given an update on the dog. So much to update! This will be long, you’ve been warned. Surgery was Monday (gah cant keep my days straight). I dropped him off at 8:30 a...
Today's the day
I dropped my dog off for surgery at 8:30 this morning. It was so hard. They anticipate he’ll be ready for pickup around 4pm. Its only 10:30 here, and I’m already catching myself staring at m...
Bloodwork
Took the BFF (dog) in for pre-surgery bloodwork today. Everything came back normal. All of his everything looks good. No blood sugar issues, kidney issues , liver issues, or cushing’s disease ...
Pics of the "tumor"
Tomorrow morning I take my dog in for bloodwork for his surgery on Monday. He hardly every lays “spread eagle” on his back, but I caught him once on Saturday and again today, Wednesday. This w...
Surgery is scheduled
About 45 minutes after I posted my last entry, the vet’s office sent me the estimate for my dog’s potential biopsy/debulking surgery. Although still pricey, it wasn’t the $2,500 I expected to se...
Going with the flow
I haven’t got the cost estimate of the biopsy surgery from the vet’s office yet, so that’s slightly annoying. Although when the vet called me yesterday morning she did say they’d send it either ...
Dog Update
The vet called me today and let me know the results of his aspiration biopsy test. The results are.......INCONCLUSIVE. ughhhhhhhh. So now they will need to go in and surgically remove a chunk o...
This is just my outlet right now
I’m a little nervous going to sleep tonight considering how last night went. I have a strong feeling I’m going to be texting my therapist tomorrow for an emergency session before next Monday’s se...
Writing to Document
Guys, I had my first ever legit hallucination last night. I had worked myself up into extreme emotional stress yesterday and couldn’t fall asleep until about 1:30 in the morning. A few hours late...
