Saw him again in 2019 Amazing Stories!

Spent a few hours tonight with Tinder dude, this time at his house. It was nice seeing his house, meeting his dog and his two cats. His dog is to him as my dog is to me. His dog loved me, btw. Even wanted to cuddle with me after his father fucked me.

So I think we kind of have this unspoken agreement that this is sort of just a fun time on the weekend sort of thing. Which I’m cool with if I can keep my emotions as far away as possible and just enjoy the physical intimacy. It just kind of sucks when Thursday/Friday rolls around and you don’t know for sure if you’re gonna get the physical intimacy you are weirdly craving or if its “back to the drawing board” time.

He actually reminds me of my ex-husband – the good parts that I originally fell in love with before shit nosedived into a steep downhill. So its weird, because he’ll do something or say something in just the right tone or way, and it makes me thing of my ex and it totally fucks with my head. Not even in a bad way. Just in a “its crazy the similarities that are creeping up” way.

But I’m not going to allow myself to over-analyze any of that because…this is just a fun, sinful thing.

I returned his North Face jacket to him tonight. I have nothing of his to use as collateral for a guaranteed “next time”, but i have my fingers-crossed. Not that my entire self-worth rides on this surface-level weekend fun. I’ll bring it up in therapy on Monday.