Mid-week in 2019 Amazing Stories!

The middle of the work week is the hardest. I just want his touch. But right now that seems to just be a weekend thing.

I brought this up with my therapist, but didn’t bluntly put it as “right now its all about the sex to fullfill each other’s needs and is strictly for fun”. I mentioned the things we had in common, that we’ve met up two Saturday’s in a row, that I’ve met his dog and he’s met mine, that he’s been to my apartment and I’ve been to his house, and that right now it seems to mostly be a surface-level physical relationship. Pretty sure she figured it out. She’d be stupid not to. She told me she was happy for me for being bold and putting myself out there, especially for being able to talk to him for 3 hours during the first date, and to have fun.

I also told her that I’m absolutely trying my hardest not to involve emotions and that because I have significant trust issues, I’m choosing not to care whether anything he tells me is the truth or a lie. Because the second I involve emotions or care whether everything he tells me is truth/lie, is the second I start becoming attached. And the fear of rejection is strong because this person seems the most compatible in a long, long time.

She tried to bring up the point that he might not turn out to be the way he presents himself to be and once I find out more about him, I might find things I don’t like and then I’ll be the one rejecting him. I told her that right now, as things stand, there is absolutely no way that I’d be the one rejecting him, and that if he does end up not talking to me anymore/breaking things off, all of the happiness that I’m currently feeling will completely reverse itself.

Dog is still doing good. His stitches came out Monday. He’s still wearing his cone while I’m not home for at least a few more days. He has some scabbing where the stitches were and they want that all fully healed up before he has full access to the area when I’m not there to keep a watchful eye on him.

I need to think of some Christmasy things to do. I wont be flying home for Christmas (Dog surgery sort of depleted the funds), and Tinder dude won’t be in the area (he’s flying home to visit family in Boston). The events are out there; I just need some motivation.