by J.E.

Entries 1,371

Page 5 of 55

My color was called this morning so I got there around 9:15ish for the widdle screening. Yeah, me and about twenty other people. I split fifteen minutes later cause I had to get my Vivitrol sho...

Haven’t even attempted to sleep. Finally, after almost 160 hours, I BEAT ASSASSIN’S CREED ODYSSEY! The LONGEST effin’ playthrough I’ve ever had. Right now I’m downloading the patch updates for...

August 16, 2023

I'm So Tired

Roughly two hours of sleep. Woke up at five AM and couldn’t get back to sleep. I’m pure zombie today. Part of me wants to take a nap but I know I’ll sleep ALL day and I don’t want that. It does...

August 15, 2023

Much Better

Thunderstorms last night brought on relief from the heat. Currently it’s 83 out. I went on a two and a half mile walk and was no where near as sweaty as I have been. Plus a nice cool breeze co...

August 14, 2023

1:42 AM AKA Begs N Achin'

Went for a walk around four this afternoon (it was 95 F out.). My right shin and calf muscle hate me. Spent the better part of an hour gaming with said leg wrapped in the heating pad. I can wa...

Got to group and apparently EVERYBODY owed over $100. When you owe over that amount you have to sign a contract that you’ll pay X amount every month. Thing is I pay off my balances every Monday...

August 13, 2023

9:21 PM

Just took my sleeping pills cause I want this day to just be over with already. Feeling super depressed and I don’t know why . Goodnight everyone.

August 13, 2023

Holy Crapola!

Didn’t realize it till I commented on Reddit. Seven days sober. I’ve got a fire in my belly thanks to that judge.

August 12, 2023

Much Beddah!

After store brand Tylenol and another two hours of sleep I felt much better. This might sound silly but after going through what I did yesterday and last night without getting fucked up, I am go...

August 12, 2023

I Don't Feel Good

My whole body is hot to the touch, I’ve got a massive headache and zero energy. My joints ache and I didn’t sleep well last night. Stress? Maybe. Weather? Good possibility. I’ve showered for the...

Not sunburned but have a wicked tan on my back. Been feeling hot all night since my walk. I’m not angry anymore. After isolating myself in my bedroom and gaming for a few hours, sober no less...

Well, I went to court. The first thing the judge told me was, “You’re about to go to jail!” Visibly confused I asked, “Now?” “Not yet but you’re headed there. You failed your last screening for...

August 11, 2023

Updates Will Follow

8:27 AM Dragged a razor across my head and face, took a nice hot shower with green apple body wash. Now I’m sitting down with an iced coffee and about to have two pieces of bacon and some scramb...

emphasized text Tonight was the second time ever of me making salmon. As the title says, not Salmon patties. Those don’t count (though I rock the Southern Style recipe.) This was two salmon fi...

August 08, 2023

Et tu, Phyllis?

Title comes from something I just heard on Murder She Wrote. I only walked and did some yard work today but my abdominal muscles feel like I did one-hundred sit ups. Guess it was from flexing on...

August 08, 2023

Wanna Get Stoned!

Got the Naltrexone prescription today. Shoe buddy does it make me tired. Drowsiness is one of the side effects. I did over a two mile walk after group then cut down some branches on a small tr...

August 08, 2023

Cold Black Heart

Found out my cousin Brad (42) died in a motorcycle accident back in late July. I have no remorse, only relief. Dead beat dad, drug user/pusher, bad kid all throughout his life, in and out of ja...

August 07, 2023

Awful Awful

I feel so sick this morning. Between the tacos and the spicy chips from last night my stomach is telling the rest of my body to fuck off. I’m thinking light meals for today. Maybe some chicke...

August 07, 2023

Cunt-ry Gravy

Found a recipe for bacon gravy aka country gravy. Come breakfast time I’m gonna whip up a batch to put on my eggs. 2:15 AM I think the trazodone is starting to kick in. Had to eat a peppermi...

It feels like my eyesight is getting worse. Bah! Yesterday ma and I went to the mall to walk around a bit for exercise and because we got cabin fever. That was the longest time I’ve spent there...

August 05, 2023


I want to thank everyone for the comments from yesterday. Monday at 10 AM I have an assessment with the medical side at Wellstone. After the evaluation they’re going to give me a prescription fo...

August 04, 2023

5:44 AM And I'm Hungry

Typical. Woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. The thunderstorm is too loud for me to even attempt to try. ☹️ Screw this noise, I want a smoke and food. No bacon and eggs…maybe another gril...

August 03, 2023

I'm A Barbie Girl

Finally dozed off sometime close to three and got up around ten. So groggy. Hell, it’s almost eight now and I’m still frickin’ beat. Mom and I went to Target to walk around then Dollar Tree, ...

August 02, 2023

Well Done (12:23 AM)

I over did it today. Since I’ve finally relaxed and gotten comfy my back and biceps hurt. When I got up to pee my left knee screamed in protest. At least I got those two jungle bushes on the s...

This time last year, what was happening in your life? At the exact moment I would have been at work. Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today? Iced coffee and Mt. Dew Ice...

Book Description

I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.

Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.

It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.



I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.

So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.

I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.

But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
I’m a democrat.
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.

People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.

This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.

I welcome ProseBox into my life.