Public

Hello

by J.E.

Entries 1,546

Page 4 of 62

April 04, 2024

It Hurts To Grow Up

I miss my dad. He died when I was sixteen and I still have nightmares at 41 that he just up and left. I never got to have that beer with him when I turned 21. I really want him back.


April 03, 2024

BAH!

I’ve got sensitive skin so I’m very prone to getting rashes. I now have one on the lower corner of my stomach and it itches bad. This is why I wear a tank top under a regular shirt because the ...


April 02, 2024

Just Effin' Great

I think my router is dead. Modem is working but the Ethernet light isn’t on. I’ve unplugged it and have done all I can. Just sucks because I want to watch YouTube on my TV. I’ve been listenin...


April 01, 2024

Hankerin'

One of my favorite restaurants closed down last year due to staffing issues. RIP Po Boy Factory. I could go for the fried oyster basket with Cajun fries and the house made Hot Damn Sauce. Oh, ...


March 31, 2024

Happy Easter!

The house permeates with the smell of the ham in the oven. 🤤


March 31, 2024

It's A Warm One

I turned on the oven to make some baked beans with dinner. Mom got the brilliant idea to turn on the dryer. It’s pretty toasty in here now. Got chicken on the grill and creamed corn on the st...


March 30, 2024

My Twenties


March 29, 2024

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Went to see Ghostbusters Frozen Empire today. It was really good! The post credit scene was hilarious. Spoilers, the little Stay Puft marshmallow men steal a semi truck shipping Stay Puft Mars...


March 28, 2024

That Dude Is Going Places

I admitted to the whole aftercare class about my relapse with drinking and getting high. It spared me a drug test tonight actually. The new(ish) counselor asked me to stay behind and we had a g...


I have court next Friday so I’m taking a seven day detox to fully clean my system. I was smoking weed to help curb the alcohol cravings. A few things went wrong so far today (it’s only 12:09 in ...


March 27, 2024

Who Do You Voodoo, Bitch?

That was a song from the video game Dead Island. I’ve been playing Dying Light 2, made by the same dev team and I had the time stuck in my head so I bumped it in the car today. Mom has been harp...


March 23, 2024

Punching The Air

I think it’s finally hitting me. Just the disappointment I feel towards myself about my relapse. Please, no comments about it’s part of the process. I went to a fucking rehab program then beca...


March 23, 2024

The Ole Craving

I’m smoking a bowl to curb the alcohol craving. When stoned I don’t want alcohol. Songs about addiction…


March 22, 2024

Bender Bending Rodriguez

Where’s my Futurama peeps? I’m coming off a four day bender, I skipped the aftercare class cause I felt awful and reeked of booze. I poured out the last of the vodka when I got up today. I’m d...


In real life this actually happened to me…a few times. Girls think it’s sexy when a man can serenade them.


Go to a Wal-Mart and people watch. Seriously, it’s like a human zoo. 🤭 In other news I’m paying for the relapse. My stomach has been torn up.


March 20, 2024

Time Travel

I wish I could go back to my dad’s funeral so I could scream at his corpse for giving up. Why not when he was alive? He stopped caring. I’ve been raising myself since age 13. Shit, mom used me (...


March 19, 2024

I'm Still Alive

Hungover but not deathly hungover like I’ve been before. It’s 6:37 PM, I’ve been asleep most of the day. Saturday night into Sunday I had a very intense dream about someone I once loved. She m...


March 19, 2024

I Just Don't Care

Relapsed last night. Drunk now. ‘Night folks


March 17, 2024

Oh God Oh God It Hurts

1:35 AM She ended up buying tickets for not only the Natural History Museum but also The Berman Museum. That one was world history. I snapped some pics of a confiscated Nazi flag from the WWII ...


Ugh. I’ve drank too much liquid tonight and my bladder hates me. Some stuff since I last wrote… Mom is officially retired and bored out of her mind. To rectify this we’ve been going for walks ar...


Night Shift by Stephen King Side Jobs by Jim Butcher The Cobra Strain by Richard Preston Zone One and Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead The Devils Boneyard by William W. Johnstone and J.A. Johns...


March 01, 2024

Beautiful

I’m listening to a band YouTube keeps recommending me. This song is beautiful.


It’s one thing to be in a waiting room at a regular doctor’s office. You should see the lobby at a state ran mental health facility.


February 26, 2024

☹️

I feel like shit. Acid on my stomach is bringing bile to my throat and liquid fire out my butt. Today I shall lay low with antacids, Peptol and plenty of water. It’s almost 8 AM and I’m thinki...


Book Description

I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.

Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.

It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.

I.
Am.
Robot.

Tell.
Me.
What.
Is.
Next.

I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.

So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.

I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
DON’T MAKE ME DO THEIR FUCKING SHIT THE LAST HOUR I’M THERE!
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.

But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
OK.
I’m a democrat.
Lifelong.
BUT FUCK YOU OBAMA!
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.

People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.

This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.

I welcome ProseBox into my life.