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Page 4 of 59
Beat Like A Dead Horse Part Thrice
Can I finally fucking rest already??? I went and got my monthly shot. Ran into the RN from rehab and gave her a hi and a hug. Came home for a quick lunch of leftovers then ma and I were off. Oi...
Beat Like A Dead Horse Part Deux
Another long morning/afternoon of errands. When I finally got home I kicked off my shoes for my house shoes again and stripped from a T-shirt to a tank top. Kept that injured foot elevated the r...
Beat Like A Dead Horse
Two milestones today. 60 days sober. Last day of outpatient. š„³ šš„³šš„³šš„³ Been on the go most of the day. Outpatient this morning then driving mom to her coworkerās (late) Christmas soiree this afte...
Ode-Ness
Dream of your embrace Taste you upon my lips Warm my soul Fire up my belly Want you Need you Canāt have you Your comfort in the night You bring the hood And you bring the bad Joyous eyes Hideous ...
Merry X-Mas!
Yeah yeah, Christmas, woo! Finally mustered up the courage and gave the female clerk my number. Married with three kidsā¦never wears a wedding band. Bah! Anyways, yāall gather āround loved ones,...
X-Mas Eve
I just finished The Book Thief. Bittersweet ending. I did enjoy it but itās so sad in some parts. Itās Christmas Eve and ma and I have done nothing but sit around. Me with my book, her with Hall...
Pull My Trigger, I Am Bigger Than...
Restaurants trigger my addiction. Had nothing to cook for dinner so mom and I ended up at Longhornās tonight. Just looking at the drinks menu made me brain tingle a bit. Seeing the servers bri...
Alcohol Commercials
The Jim Beam one where the whole bar is singing Sweet Caroline. Stop that! I like that songā¦ Then there is the super creepy Guinness commercial for the zero alcohol version. The foam in the be...
Hrm (Updated)
Middle brother got mom a new TV as a surprise Christmas gift. Only problem is the HDMI cable he gave us was bad and I really donāt feel like braving holiday shoppers to get a new one right now. ...
I Swear To God...
Iāll shoot myself if I turn on the PS3 for more Fallout today. Iāve been playing that WAY too much lately. I am in a somber state today. Reread an entry I wrote on Dec. 18th from a few years ...
Moan Complain Gripe
So, my Internet has been down right? The power light was blinking so after some internet sleuthing I had to order a new power adapter. Modem works fine now but will not connect to the Internet s...
The Lost Sunday
Late Saturday nightā¦Sunday morning??? Anyways, I took a sleeping pill and crashed out watching TV. With the exception of walking up to pee then again for dinner I slept all day and night finall...
You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Be In My Family
But it helps! 1:31 AM Did the dinner with fam tonight. My middle brother and his gf were out due to COVID. I met my cousinās new, āfriend.ā He seems nice, a bit quiet. Cousinās daughter was t...
Fiddy Daze
50 days sober!!! Letās boogie!
My Eyes Burn
I already put in drops earlier, still burning. Ugh. Picked up mom at 2 PM. We had to ride to Publix for a few ingredients for the two dishes sheās making for the family dinner. I stopped in at...
6:31 AM (Update)
Kept dozing off last night a little after midnight. Smokey was asleep in my lap keeping me warm hence my extreme comfort. Finally got the energy to kick off my shoes and pants and was quickly as...
I Know That Starting Over Is Not What Life's About
Mk, I had a few questions in my last entry both public and private about my sobriety so I figure Iāll address them. No, I have no intention of drinking again. Because I had my stint in rehab Iād ...
Custard Filled, Chocolate Glazed
My favorite doughnut. Had one after dinner. Speaking of unhealthy diets, Iām trying to ease up on the candy. I have massive sugar cravings at night. You see, night time was my (heavy) drinking ...
Sunday Was Pointless
Dozed on and off from like 3 AM till 5 AM till I had to take mom to work. No drug test so got a crappy sleep from like 10 till 3 in the afternoon. Got mom at 6. Went to the Chinese buffet for ...
Christmas Survey Snatched From Lasergirl
Does your family send out Christmas cards? Used to. Most of the extended family has all passed away. How soon do you start shopping? December 1st Who do you shop for? Mom mostly. Iāll usually g...
I Don't Want To Get Drunk
But I just want a few beers right now Howeverā¦ One turns to two, two turns to four, four turns to liquor, liquor turns to me crawling on the floor. Iām not even that much of a beer guy. Guinn...
It Ain't My Fault It's Six O' Clock In The Morning
I donāt want to dream anymore. Now rehab is creeping into my subconscious. Plus other oddities. I keep finding myself stranded in different areas in town and Iām having to hoof it on foot. Th...
This Shit Has Gotten Old
I keep getting emails from a temp service about jobs in Tennessee. I hit decline every time but they keep coming. Itās too far away for me! It was bad enough when I worked in Decatur and with ...
Salami 'N Crackers
Is what I just ate for a quick meal. Had to navigate the jungle that is my garage to get to the Christmas tree. Go figure I nearly tripped dragging it out and in a attempt to balance myself I je...
Sugar Is A Harsh Mistress
Normally Iād drink at night. Now when nighttime hits, usually after ten, Iām craving sweets. Lately itās been chocolate. Iām disgusted with myself. Just the other night I polished off a king s...
Book Description
I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.
Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least youāre away from the customers. I can, āpretendā, like Iām cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didnāt stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and weāre good.
It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.
I.
Am.
Robot.
Tell.
Me.
What.
Is.
Next.
Iām versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.
So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.
I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....Iām part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didnāt doā¦bitch to them.
DONāT MAKE ME DO THEIR FUCKING SHIT THE LAST HOUR IāM THERE!
Iāve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I havenāt missed a day in a year.
But Iāve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I donāt qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
OK.
Iām a democrat.
Lifelong.
BUT FUCK YOU OBAMA!
Donāt tell me what to do.
Iāll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.
People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.
This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.
I welcome ProseBox into my life.
