J.E. ⋅ 39

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

Philip K. Dick

Entries 1,015

Page 1 of 41

Sorta. Maybe thirty minutes or so I napped. I knew I was asleep ‘cause I was in that house (reoccurring location) again. Sometimes, it’s a big, maze like mansion. Sometimes, it’s in disrepair ...


13 hours ago

9:28 AM in Hello

I’m in bed for the first time in ages. I usually sleep on the couch. Dr. Gilbert gave me the card of a colleague who specializes in EMDR and told me to check her out. Dr. Frasier. I had to sti...


19 hours ago

Scared Of Everything in Hello

Seems like everything is getting to me at once tonight. Let’s see…death has been on my mind lately. Specifically mom. She’s no sprung chicken anymore and I’m not sure I can take over this hou...


I can’t find myself. Maybe I can’t find myself because I don’t really know who i am?


My right eye is irritated. I keep tearing up and it’s itchy. Annoyingly evil. Speaking of evil, the last two nights I’ve gotten back into Silence of the Lambs. I’ve got roughly 100 pages left. ...


5 days ago

Drained in Hello

Mentally. Been looking at too many numbers between print, program and measuring tools.


6 days ago

The Joy Of Cooking in Hello

4:00 AM, can’t sleep. Not that I’m trying to. I haven’t cooked since starting the new job. Saturday I was way too worn out and Sunday we went to Guadalajara. Mom had the taco salad and I a c...


July 28, 2022

3:36 AM Insomnia in Hello

Yup, can’t sleep. Even after two melatonin. The job is okay. Albeit boring as crap. I can’t really hear my Bluetooth speaker over the machines so I crank up the classic rock station to hear the...


July 25, 2022

Today Sucks in Hello

I was a minute late clocking in for work today. In my haste to get out the door I forgot my phone charger and Bluetooth speaker so no decent tunes for me tonight. There is a radio but the radio...


Five grand a semester. I still want it but can’t afford it.


July 19, 2022

Not Too Shabby in Hello

The new job isn’t so bad. Just three other guys and me. Left to myself running two old Okuma FANUC controlled machines which is what I cut my teeth on when I worked at Parker. Cast iron valves...


July 18, 2022

6:28 AM in Dreams And Nightmares

Dozed off sometime after 9 PM. Had weird dreams all night as well as kept waking up like every hour. The one dream I can remember is the city tore down all the houses across the street, dug up a...


https://www.prosebox.net/entry/1095318/lost/?nav=author A few weeks later I cracked and relapsed. She got really mad and broke her hand punching me twice in the process. She was looking for a...


July 17, 2022

I Don't Wanna! in Hello

Start the new job tomorrow but I need money and I have to get out of this mausoleum I mean house. I tried to get two cheeseburgers at Wendy’s earlier but I forgot how awful the service is at th...


July 16, 2022

Yesterday's Crap in Hello

After I wrote the entry Enjoying Single Life Yet the song I posted reminded me of past lovers and yeah, I teared up. I still had errands to run so the first stop was Zero Gravity for a body clean...


July 15, 2022

Manhunter in Hello

Released 1986 and it floppd. Directed by Michael Mann of Heat fame. This most famous bank robbery gunfight in cinema history. Rumor is he got rid of the sound effects and used the actual blanks ...


It’s been bad. I just don’t we....feel....care to talk about things anymore.


July 15, 2022

Mr. D in Hello

“He must press on soon. He must select his fellow performers. Already he had copied several films of Fourth of July family outings. The end of summer always brought a rush of business at the f...


July 15, 2022

Enjoying Single Life? in Hello

I’ve got a full Delta 8 vape pen and a list of errands to run. Get stoned, blast some tunes and have fun while doing it… Times like this I really miss having someone accompany me in my misadvent...


They pull me back in. I’m trying HARD to avoid the internet. Mostly for my own mental health because as a world we are fucked. There is no fixing it. Not anymore. So I’ve turned my downtime bac...


Made the dry rub indirect heat ribs again tonight. Except this time I rubbed them down in mustard before adding the dry rub. Not fall off the bone tender (over cooked) but you got a nice tear aw...


July 11, 2022

Nailed It! in Hello

Just got a call for a start date at the job I interviewed for two hours ago. Monday. Bright and early at 6 AM. I’m still gonna check out the other interviews and see what gets offered. Can’t h...


Spent all of yesterday morning, afternoon and early evening sleeping. Nothing was laid out for dinner so mom opted for Olive Garden. I got the five cheese baked ziti and it was delicious. Jus...


I only know about this song from the Cole Porter musical “Kiss Me Kate.” I’ve never heard it from the female perspective.


July 05, 2022

Tales From The ER in Hello

After 11 hours, two IV bags of fluid, four horse sized potassium pills and one librium for withdrawal symptoms I am now officially a non-drinker. My chest started feeling real tight around thre...


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