J.E. ⋅ 41

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

Philip K. Dick

Entries 1,617

Page 7 of 65

October 07, 2023

I'm Fucked Up in Hello

Might as well party before I go into inpatient and see my demons full force. Sober

October 07, 2023

Worm Eats The Rabbit Hole in Hello

On my way to pick up mom I looked up Stiff Little Fingers. Bought their first album ten years ago. Played it through. Now I’m in a 2010 kick where I started downloading full discographies. Sun...

October 06, 2023

Come Scratch My Back! in Hello

I’ve got one spot I can’t reach. Another night of a good deep sleep, I could get used to this. It’s a nice, cool 67 outside. FINALLY! Honestly, I want to sleep a little longer. I’m nice and war...

Google it Brian May (guitarist of Queen) has a PhD and has worked with NASA and has published papers. Dexter Holland of The Offspring has a PhD Mr. Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson, Master’s in Elec...

When that Trazodone hit it hit hard! Dream one, I was in high school trying to find a place to dip out and have a cigarette. I made it outside to smoke it was raining. Then I’m walking home in ...

October 05, 2023

11:11 PM in Hello

How the fuck am I still not sleepy?!?!? Over 36 hours now. I need a smoke. Had fajitas tonight, twas good. One Trazodone down, let’s get it started.

October 04, 2023

Lie Still, Little Bottle in Hello

I had the assessment and I’ll be in inpatient within the week. Spoke with the court liaison after and they’ll clear things with the judge and get me a new court date. Is it odd that I’m excited...

October 04, 2023

2:00 AM in Hello

Passed the 24 hour mark around 10 PM. Wide awake… I’m under my blanket but too hot, feel slightly moiste. Very tempted to make myself a some highly caffeinated cup(s) of coffee and just stay up....

October 03, 2023

Capitalism And Bug Bites in Hello

Mom is old school. She’ll send checks in the mail or go to a location to pay a bill. Two months ago apparently T-Mobile put into effect a $5 service charge if you go to the store to pay. That’...

October 03, 2023

1:16 AM in Hello

No one commented on my last entry. 😭 No worries, just one of my wild ideas Had a double whammy today. Piss test at group then piss test at the courthouse. I failed them. THC for group and THC...

October 02, 2023

Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment! in Hello

The Ramones are stuck in my head. It’s 4:16 AM and I’ve given up on trying to sleep. I crawled into an Arthur C. Clarke short story collection and came across a compelling tale titled Who’s Th...

October 01, 2023

Food Stuffs in Hello

I’ve been in a poor mental health funk this past week. Last night was really bad. I am the king of self sabotage. Anyways, mom is feeling bad for me and said we’ll go out to eat tonight. My ch...

September 28, 2023

Rest in Hello

I’ve slept the day away. Woke up with a tension headache and a throat so sore I can feel it in my right ear when I swallow. Yeah, I’m not doing shit today. Heh. Ooo, I do have ice cream. I ...

To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men In their clean white coats And they’re coming to take me away HA HA The counselor informed me ...

Oct. 4th I meet with the head counselor to get a referral for River Valley. That’s the free inpatient I’d like to go to. Not sure how long it will take but if I have to go then I have to go. ...

September 24, 2023

That Was A Bust in Hello

So I drove mom and aunt to the reunion. We were there maybe thirty minutes. My aunt didn’t want to go but Mom was insistent. She said she only knew two people there. While she did her thing I ...

But I don’t like you anymore… Got some…info today and I’ve been in my head since. I reached out to a girl who graduated from group if she’s ever been in an inpatient. She told me her bf is in t...

September 22, 2023

Confused Court For Church in Hello

Today was graduation day for a lot of folks out of mental health court. All the counselors were lined up, the judge stood behind a podium and handed out certificates. I wish I was joking. Befo...

September 22, 2023

Drunk Robots And Abscess Tooth in Hello

Pretty sure it’s abscess. Only problem is the area that hurts is a bridge so it’s three teeth…in front. I don’t want to get it all pulled and look like poor white trash but I have no insurance....

September 21, 2023

Hip To Be ⬛ in Hello

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m the kind of guy who always crosses his legs when he sits. All day I’ve been wanting to cross my right leg over and each time I try pain shoots through the hip where...

September 20, 2023

Body Buzzed in Hello

Went and got my second injection before group today. I swear I get a body high off of it for like an hour. Only me and one other person so they combined two groups today. We were on the other ...

September 20, 2023

12:26 AM in Hello

This is getting old. Been up since 6. Group, ran errands, cooked. Wide. Freakin’. Awake. At least it’s cold in here, FINALLY. 🥶 Feels amazing. If I’m up in another hour I think that left o...

September 19, 2023

Today Was Nice in Hello

Peacock messaged last night asking if I was free for lunch. I replied that I was and a when and where. I’m not going to lie, this morning she said meet at the new Publix on the opposite side of...

September 18, 2023

Right Side Of The Face in Hello

While enjoying my Cajun turkey sandwich for lunch I bit down funny and now my upper teeth hurt. The pain is shooting into the nasal cavities on the right side of my face. Any of my long time re...

Slept on and off throughout the night. I’m showered, shaved, about to take my meds and get some food in me. Today I’m going to take things a bit more seriously instead of floundering in the dee...

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