by J.E.

Entries 1,320

Page 1 of 53

7 hours ago

Food Stuffs

I’ve been in a poor mental health funk this past week. Last night was really bad. I am the king of self sabotage. Anyways, mom is feeling bad for me and said we’ll go out to eat tonight. My ch...

3 days ago


I’ve slept the day away. Woke up with a tension headache and a throat so sore I can feel it in my right ear when I swallow. Yeah, I’m not doing shit today. Heh. Ooo, I do have ice cream. I ...

To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men In their clean white coats And they’re coming to take me away HA HA The counselor informed me ...

Oct. 4th I meet with the head counselor to get a referral for River Valley. That’s the free inpatient I’d like to go to. Not sure how long it will take but if I have to go then I have to go. ...

7 days ago

That Was A Bust

So I drove mom and aunt to the reunion. We were there maybe thirty minutes. My aunt didn’t want to go but Mom was insistent. She said she only knew two people there. While she did her thing I ...

But I don’t like you anymore… Got some…info today and I’ve been in my head since. I reached out to a girl who graduated from group if she’s ever been in an inpatient. She told me her bf is in t...

September 22, 2023

Confused Court For Church

Today was graduation day for a lot of folks out of mental health court. All the counselors were lined up, the judge stood behind a podium and handed out certificates. I wish I was joking. Befo...

September 22, 2023

Drunk Robots And Abscess Tooth

Pretty sure it’s abscess. Only problem is the area that hurts is a bridge so it’s three teeth…in front. I don’t want to get it all pulled and look like poor white trash but I have no insurance....

September 20, 2023

Hip To Be ⬛

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m the kind of guy who always crosses his legs when he sits. All day I’ve been wanting to cross my right leg over and each time I try pain shoots through the hip where...

September 20, 2023

Body Buzzed

Went and got my second injection before group today. I swear I get a body high off of it for like an hour. Only me and one other person so they combined two groups today. We were on the other ...

September 20, 2023

12:26 AM

This is getting old. Been up since 6. Group, ran errands, cooked. Wide. Freakin’. Awake. At least it’s cold in here, FINALLY. 🥶 Feels amazing. If I’m up in another hour I think that left o...

September 19, 2023

Today Was Nice

Peacock messaged last night asking if I was free for lunch. I replied that I was and a when and where. I’m not going to lie, this morning she said meet at the new Publix on the opposite side of...

September 18, 2023

Right Side Of The Face

While enjoying my Cajun turkey sandwich for lunch I bit down funny and now my upper teeth hurt. The pain is shooting into the nasal cavities on the right side of my face. Any of my long time re...

Slept on and off throughout the night. I’m showered, shaved, about to take my meds and get some food in me. Today I’m going to take things a bit more seriously instead of floundering in the dee...

My mind is a mess… Mk I feel a bit better. Peeled myself off the couch, showered and got a meal in me. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed today. Haven’t gotten much sleep. Now that I’m clea...

September 15, 2023

Leftovers For Lunch

Since Mom has been feeling a lot better she’s been active in chores around the house and cooking. Last night she made some killer fried chicken thighs with corn and cabbage. Today I’m having le...

September 14, 2023

Dear Sweet Relief Of AC!

Elder bro brought his AC unit. Just turned it on a few minutes ago and it already feels a bit cooler in here. Got the exhaust pipe going out the garage side door. Put some boxes and tacked up...

Was just texting with a friend. I’m craving a big glass of iced pink lemonade. From time to time I get on these kicks where I crave something fruit flavored to drink, be it juice or lemonade or...

September 13, 2023

Bat To The Head

I’ve had a headache all day. There is a knot in the back of my head like I hit it on something. Temples feel squeezed with pressure. Ice pack here I come.

September 12, 2023

Sick Stomach

Mom and I went to Longhorn for lunch because we didn’t want to hear the house up anymore than we have to. The French onion soup is sitting on my stomach like a swampy mess. Never again! After ...

September 12, 2023

Be Serious

I day drank yesterday and spent the rest of the evening sleeping. It’s 3:44 AM and I feel like absolute shit. My chest feels like there is a weight on it, blood pressure is definitely up and I’...

September 10, 2023

Limp Legged

Conked my shin on the left leg last night. Got a nice goose egg that’s humming with pain now. Owie… I had a really wild dream. D&D game, fighting monsters with friends I haven’t seen in ye...

September 09, 2023

Crippity Crap

Gotta go to my brother’s tonight for a birthday get together. He’ll be 50 on the 14th. I honestly don’t want to go. I really don’t feel like seeing my cunty cousin (huge bitch) and they’ll be ...

September 09, 2023

Small Town LOL!!!

Dude… you’re using a hip hop drum machine. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!. Now…the truth… Honestly.

September 08, 2023

Mouth Was On Fire

4:30 AM. Gotta take mom to work in an hour. I ate the last two pieces of chicken from Popeyes while dipping it in Dreamland BBQ sauce. The heat in the sauce has a kick like a mule. After I ate...

Book Description

I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.

Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.

It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.



I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.

So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.

I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.

But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
I’m a democrat.
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.

People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.

This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.

I welcome ProseBox into my life.