J.E. ⋅ 42 ⋅
“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”
Entries 1,912
Page 19 of 77
How the fuck am I still not sleepy?!?!? Over 36 hours now. I need a smoke. Had fajitas tonight, twas good. One Trazodone down, let’s get it started.
Lie Still, Little Bottle in Hello
I had the assessment and I’ll be in inpatient within the week. Spoke with the court liaison after and they’ll clear things with the judge and get me a new court date. Is it odd that I’m excited...
Passed the 24 hour mark around 10 PM. Wide awake… I’m under my blanket but too hot, feel slightly moiste. Very tempted to make myself a some highly caffeinated cup(s) of coffee and just stay up....
Capitalism And Bug Bites in Hello
Mom is old school. She’ll send checks in the mail or go to a location to pay a bill. Two months ago apparently T-Mobile put into effect a $5 service charge if you go to the store to pay. That’...
No one commented on my last entry. 😭 No worries, just one of my wild ideas Had a double whammy today. Piss test at group then piss test at the courthouse. I failed them. THC for group and THC...
Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment! in Hello
The Ramones are stuck in my head. It’s 4:16 AM and I’ve given up on trying to sleep. I crawled into an Arthur C. Clarke short story collection and came across a compelling tale titled Who’s Th...
Food Stuffs in Hello
I’ve been in a poor mental health funk this past week. Last night was really bad. I am the king of self sabotage. Anyways, mom is feeling bad for me and said we’ll go out to eat tonight. My ch...
I’ve slept the day away. Woke up with a tension headache and a throat so sore I can feel it in my right ear when I swallow. Yeah, I’m not doing shit today. Heh. Ooo, I do have ice cream. I ...
They're Coming To take Me Away Ho Ho He He Ha Ha in Hello
To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men In their clean white coats And they’re coming to take me away HA HA The counselor informed me ...
They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha in Hello
Oct. 4th I meet with the head counselor to get a referral for River Valley. That’s the free inpatient I’d like to go to. Not sure how long it will take but if I have to go then I have to go. ...
That Was A Bust in Hello
So I drove mom and aunt to the reunion. We were there maybe thirty minutes. My aunt didn’t want to go but Mom was insistent. She said she only knew two people there. While she did her thing I ...
You've Done So Much For Me And I Love You in Hello
But I don’t like you anymore… Got some…info today and I’ve been in my head since. I reached out to a girl who graduated from group if she’s ever been in an inpatient. She told me her bf is in t...
Confused Court For Church in Hello
Today was graduation day for a lot of folks out of mental health court. All the counselors were lined up, the judge stood behind a podium and handed out certificates. I wish I was joking. Befo...
Drunk Robots And Abscess Tooth in Hello
Pretty sure it’s abscess. Only problem is the area that hurts is a bridge so it’s three teeth…in front. I don’t want to get it all pulled and look like poor white trash but I have no insurance....
Hip To Be ⬛ in Hello
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m the kind of guy who always crosses his legs when he sits. All day I’ve been wanting to cross my right leg over and each time I try pain shoots through the hip where...
Body Buzzed in Hello
Went and got my second injection before group today. I swear I get a body high off of it for like an hour. Only me and one other person so they combined two groups today. We were on the other ...
This is getting old. Been up since 6. Group, ran errands, cooked. Wide. Freakin’. Awake. At least it’s cold in here, FINALLY. 🥶 Feels amazing. If I’m up in another hour I think that left o...
Today Was Nice in Hello
Peacock messaged last night asking if I was free for lunch. I replied that I was and a when and where. I’m not going to lie, this morning she said meet at the new Publix on the opposite side of...
Right Side Of The Face in Hello
While enjoying my Cajun turkey sandwich for lunch I bit down funny and now my upper teeth hurt. The pain is shooting into the nasal cavities on the right side of my face. Any of my long time re...
Woke Up, Fell Out Of Bed, Dragged A Razor Across My Head in Hello
Slept on and off throughout the night. I’m showered, shaved, about to take my meds and get some food in me. Today I’m going to take things a bit more seriously instead of floundering in the dee...
I Feel Like I'm At Rock Bottom *Edit in Hello
My mind is a mess… Mk I feel a bit better. Peeled myself off the couch, showered and got a meal in me. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed today. Haven’t gotten much sleep. Now that I’m clea...
Interesting in Dreams And Nightmares
Had a dream that there was some street festival going on and the punk band Bad Brains was playing a free gig. I got to me the singer and guitarist. Now only if something cool like that happened...
Leftovers For Lunch in Hello
Since Mom has been feeling a lot better she’s been active in chores around the house and cooking. Last night she made some killer fried chicken thighs with corn and cabbage. Today I’m having le...
Dear Sweet Relief Of AC! in Hello
Elder bro brought his AC unit. Just turned it on a few minutes ago and it already feels a bit cooler in here. Got the exhaust pipe going out the garage side door. Put some boxes and tacked up...
Thirst Or Juice Controls The Media in Hello
Was just texting with a friend. I’m craving a big glass of iced pink lemonade. From time to time I get on these kicks where I crave something fruit flavored to drink, be it juice or lemonade or...
