Entries 67
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october is done
october started great and ended poorly i’ve started doing 30 minutes on the bike in the morning before work then the full set after work. its tough waking up earlier to get up and out though tod...
i thought i had killed that
there were a couple years of my life where i lived in fear, where i was frustrated, where i was confused. probably the most intense time of my life. there was a lot of animosity, and a lot of iso...
in this episode i question mindset and misfortune.
my weekend could be considered to be terrible. the girl i’ve been into for a minute kept playing the push/pull game with me. almost nice guy friend zoning me. which i don’t accept. a not attracti...
walking with night and sleeping when sun comes up
the morning is just waking people up. the streets are quiet. this walk home has my mind racing. the distraction of being alone is wandering by, making the same tired spectacle that it always does...
9/5/15
fighting the emotional part of my brain today. the logical part knows that this one is not special. just another damaged girl i will not save. i cannot save. but her telling me she was going to b...
a liar, a monster, a patron saint of regression?
won’t even give her eye contact. she doesn’t deserve it. is it betrayal? could that even be the case? is it jealousy? if so on who’s part? her actions have derailed what was supposed to be a lot ...
getting it right even after failing
i mess up. i get fooled sometimes. sure i don’t think i’m an idiot, but my narcissism does get the best of me. i believe i’m way smarter than some of the stupid things that get me. i get all fire...
weird places my brain has gone today.
on the road you can get lost, just focusing on the journey, forgetting the destination. tied up in all the details, and not moving towards your destination. you can stop to smell the roses but yo...
monotony mono tony money to me moe no toe knee
lots going on and yet nothing worth caring about. boring drama, women creating issues with the boys they used to love. boys reacting like a territorial dog, terrified of anything that they percei...
my weak end
i’ve been under the weather this week. not sleeping well. i’m trying to not to fall into being depressed. maybe its this temporary loneliness, maybe is the circumstances i find myself in. i’m goi...
i know
well its a new year and i’ve already caused some fun in my world. i’ve been in this on going situation of bro’s before ho’s. the worst part is i don’t really consider the bro a bro. he hasn’t bee...
i want to walk away from everything
so this whole metalgate garbage really has me disappointed in both sides. i understand points that both make but don’t totally agree with either. its unfortunate that really cool people are not a...
yearly review
i wake up to pain, i wake up feeling worse than when i went to sleep. no, that’s not true, i’m just tired. another year of my life is just about up. i still have no ambition, no goals, no dream. ...
getting ready to travel
i’ve really gotten excited about traveling. i’m going to be doing it for the holidays and that’s always fun. plus i need a breather. i need to get away. it always makes people in my life apprecia...
but then i wake up
its been strange lately, i’ve wondered where i’ve drifted off to lately. i don’t care about having a romantic life right now. i mean i have the girls i see, but i don’t really care about them not...
so the story continues….i guess
what is new? its been a while aside from my fitness updates, which are pretty boring i guess. mostly for my own documentation i guess or whatever. anyhow, where am i now? what am i up to? same jo...
observations of the weekend and other boring things
lets get the fun stuff out first. i am going to change the workout portion of this from my challenge to my battle. it really has been a battle as of late. but i'll update that later. i'm going to...
i lost or killed it at the diner
she never came back. that girl that left, that girl that was my best friend, she's gone forever. the person who returned in her place just isn't the same. i know i'm not the same. i realized i ha...
is that a sore on your lip?
i don't know exactly what i expected. i don't really know if i'm disappointed. maybe i started to believe some of the stories people told about me. it was a brief interaction so maybe it was just...
oh how the quandary rolls
i'm looking at a few more weeks until she comes back to visit. i'm a little worried that my changed out look and even physical changes might be a problem. well not so much a problem as a we might...
interesting week or so
my best friend from high school showed up earlier this week. i only see the guy a couple times a year. its weird to see how our lives parallel and divert. i was also reminded of things i used to ...
horse races, suits, and lady kryptonite
a glass of maker's on the rocks, surrounded by people i don't really have much in common with. everyone is dressed ridiculous outfits due to the nature of this gathering. people are dressed up f...
big changes are cause for self reflection
the song on my playlist switches. so many changes happening. so much will be different. i'm excited about it. i'm dreading it. i kind of am indifferent about it. i've gone on this slow change to ...
opportunities and self help from monsters
theres a reason people want to be scarface, why jordan belfort is popular, why gordon gecko influenced years of stock brokers. people want to be able to satiate every primal urge in their head. t...
Sinatra on the stereo and a mixed drink in my hand
last night was a bust, i couldn't find what i was looking for. i've been thinking that i've been going about things all wrong. i'm legitimately considering suiting up tonight. my suit needs to be...
Book Description
Its hard to be with the living when you feel like the dead.
