getting it right even after failing in Sometimes I feel dead inside

i mess up. i get fooled sometimes. sure i don’t think i’m an idiot, but my narcissism does get the best of me. i believe i’m way smarter than some of the stupid things that get me. i get all fired up about things from time to time and don’t follow through. i have been trying to keep up with the work out mess. i was killing it then i wasn’t able to due to various situations. restarting is always difficult, the workout stuff is just a small part. i’m looking at the big picture here. i’m getting older and i don’t like the idea that i’m just paying bills to survive long enough to die. i’m starting to think about what i want to do in my life. what places would i like to see? what things would i like to do? what do i want to become? i get its about getting the frame work together, the rough sketches are there. i’m slowly gaining the tools to get/be all that i want. theres the question though of what do i want in the long run. do i want to be a rich person living on some tropical island? do i want to be the playboy in the mansion or penthouse suited up and ready to destroy the town? do i even care about amassing large amounts of money? do i care where i live? these are situations that have been running through my mind as i have just crossed the 10 year mark of me living in the city i’m currently in. i look at why i came to this city, what i wanted to achieve and what has and hasn’t changed. while yes i have learned a great deal about myself, i certainly am not in the position i imagined i’d be at in 10 years. i’m not close and i don’t even know if i am looking at that anymore. what do you do when you lose your life mission? i guess i just float along hoping for something better. i know i need a plan, a target, a goal. just like teenage me i am completely directionless. its partially cause i am good at way too many things and have the ego to back up my short comings. when you can do anything its hard to choose something.
guess its time to come up with a plan