is that a sore on your lip? in Sometimes I feel dead inside

i don't know exactly what i expected. i don't really know if i'm disappointed. maybe i started to believe some of the stories people told about me. it was a brief interaction so maybe it was just a combination of the both of us being off. she was super excited to see me and i was happy at first but then stopped. i don't know why. its like the volume had been turned down. or maybe i realized i don't really feel anything for her anymore. well, fondness i guess? it wasn't like meeting an ex either. i started to think that there was less and less in common. maybe because of my own weirdness. i wasn't the all dominating creature i normally was. that will change the next time i see her. i just have to be patient. but it was not the reunion i had envisioned. i don't really know what i was expecting. i just wanted to get this confusion while it was still fresh in my head. i can't be mad at her, i have no reason. she left because i told her to, she's living the life i told her to. i don't think i am mad/upset/confused about that. i'm not clear what it is. i think i'll just chalk it up to just a weird day. we will see.