i know in Sometimes I feel dead inside

well its a new year and i’ve already caused some fun in my world. i’ve been in this on going situation of bro’s before ho’s. the worst part is i don’t really consider the bro a bro. he hasn’t been there for me and speaks through women when he disapproves of me. yeah i think his girl is very attractive and fun. she also has said that she wished her bf was more like me. he had become an indecisive emotional mess that had fooled her under the guise of masculinity. anyhow, there is the theory put forth that since i made no secret of finding her attractive he befriended me to keep me from stealing her away. i don’t know which way to go on that possibility. anyhow, i backed off at his request, sure i’d let it slip that i still found her attractive from time to time. no secret there. i wasn’t very good at keeping that a secret. well fast forward a bit, he had pissed me off, and shortly after they broke up. he hasn’t reached out to me in over a month. which lends more credit to the friending to keep me away from his at the time girl. she hangs out in my circle of friends. he does not. so she got drunk with me and others and was very, very flirty with me. i’m incredibly conflicted on this whole thing. the night keeps going, i keep drinking, and she convinces me to kiss her. i don’t freak out, i just let it go and enjoyed the rest of my night like it never happened. now i texted her after everyone went home telling her that she tricked me into doing something that i wanted to do. i maintained my confident face, not letting her know i was panicking a little on the inside. i don’t normally go that aggressive on girls that i’m uncertain about. usually i take them out first. i saw her tonight, and spoke with her for a few minutes, i joked that drunk her has a crush on me, (which is probably not too far from the truth). i’m too tired to explain to her what she did, how she acted, why i reacted the way i did. i told her i’d tell her later and we could talk about it. yeah i’m a little freaked out, i don’t know what i want to do here. i like her a bit, i don’t like the situation, i could easily pretend nothing happened. just ignore it and let it go away. write it off as a mix up by a drunk person. i could tell her that she challenged my manhood and i responded appropriately. i don’t really know what to do here. i’ll probably just play it cool, ignore the panic in my head, tell the fear we will ride this out and see what happens. ask myself what would han solo do, or something equally classy.