horse races, suits, and lady kryptonite in Sometimes I feel dead inside

a glass of maker's on the rocks, surrounded by people i don't really have much in common with. everyone is dressed ridiculous outfits due to the nature of this gathering. people are dressed up for the horse race that is about to happen, weird hats and other strangeness, even i am participating in my own manner. suited up, cocky smirk on my face, completely out of my element but damn it, if i don't look good. a number of ladies are kind enough to reassure me of this fact throughout the course of the evening. i'm not going to lie this stoked my ego a bit more than it really should have. i'm used to other compliments but getting told you look hot and drop dead gorgeous from a flustered young lady always is good. can't really hear it enough, can anyone? i feel like a tourist though, here's people with money, people from money, politically correct, hipster breeders, not my circle. after the slight shock i can find people to connect with, this was a bit harder. women and alcohol are always a great social lubricant for easing your way into any situation or group. i played a bit quieter than i normally do, at first observing and looking for my points of attack. the predator that lives in my mind circles his cage, sniffing the air, testing the cage for weak points. i reassure him that he's going to come out soon we just need a game plan. he doesn't want to wait, that's for the weak, WE ARE NOT WEAK! he's shouting, growling, nearly threatening me. i understand and agree, i know i'm a predator walking among sheep, i just have to be smart. i don't want to spook the prey. i move slowly watching everything, smirking the whole time. i see a few potentials, i make some brief introductions. i'm not going to make any moves yet, my friends are still on the way. besides most of these people need to get a little more to drink so they loosen up. the inner predator is licking his chops he knows this is going to be too easy. his excitement is infectious and i find myself feeling the same way. my friends show up, we try pack hunting which is perfect for them, they work well with each other, they try to bring me in, but it doesn't work. the cage is broken, he won't stay quiet anymore, this will not work, neither of us will accept losing, even if theres no contest we are very competitive. the real hunt begins, i feel it. i'm walking through this party, the women sense the change. maybe its how i carry myself. maybe its something else. i post up at the bar grabbing another drink. i don't plan on being there long, a young lady locks in on me, circles approaching from the far side. she starts pushing for my compliance, for me to tell her she's beautiful to tell her all the lies that she thinks she needs to hear. i refuse her commands, i refuse to answer questions honestly. i tell her that i no longer care about small talk. impatience and anger is burning through my head. it doesn't really matter though. she gets incredibly aggressive, within a few minutes she knows more about me than some of my friends. she keeps going on about how great i look. her friends appears out of nowhere and introduce themselves to me. one takes the first girl to the bathroom, and the other stays with me. she mentions how she loves tall guys and how her friend was right about how hot i am. it dawns on me the friend is trying to go for the steal. what can i do? shots, she just ordered shots and told me she can't wait to get me out of there. there's a lot of weirdness going on there, apparently when i suit up the ladies lose it. if i go any further my poor readers will believe i've started ripping off the good parts of 50 shades of grey. i learned that i am devastating to women in a suit and plan on wearing one more often. i might even buy one or two more. its not fair to begin with and now armed with this who knows what kind of chaos/fun i will have.

Last updated May 05, 2014