9/5/15 in Sometimes I feel dead inside

fighting the emotional part of my brain today. the logical part knows that this one is not special. just another damaged girl i will not save. i cannot save. but her telling me she was going to be seeing someone tonight woke a fierce territorial part of my brain, i was upset that she was going to be doing that. i haven’t had that happen to me in years. though the last time was because i didn’t like sharing. i’m not even dating this one, i don’t know if i even want to. i’m a little lost on this one. but i’m solving it the only way i know how, emptying my head on here, and then singing. i don’t like that i am feeling anything involving this girl. i am annoyed at my brain for doing that. its just the same mistake i make every time, its the same thing it happened with the co-worker, the bartender, and the art store clerk. i don’t know why these girls got into my head and made me feel certain things. i’m disappointed in myself for not being able to immediately rationalize it out. i’m supposedly going to see her tonight, i’m going to pretend nothing hurts. that i’m the coolest dude on the planet. she can’t know she got anything out of me. i can rationalize this away.