J.E. ⋅ 41

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

Philip K. Dick

Entries 1,617

Page 4 of 65

December 30, 2023

Too Tired For This Shit in Hello

Currently sitting at the E.R. with mom. Apparently she fell when she got to work and busted her knee and hit her head. She called me to pick her up and take her here. On the ride over I presse...


December 30, 2023

4:11 AM in Hello

Watching King of the Hill. Bill’s House On this episode Bill takes in a few alcoholics from a halfway house. I don’t like the way it’s poking fun at recovery and the clients. Not cool… Anyways,...


Telling me some beer would be alright. That it’s the weekend. That it’s almost New Years so party right. No, I’ll sit here with these uncomfortable feelings… Oh ya, no more rehab diary entries. ...


December 29, 2023

Well, I WAS Sleeping in Hello

I need to get mom some night vision goggles or some shit. She’s been told not to drive at dark and I’m starting to think she abuses this. You see, if it’s dark I have to chauffeur her around. ...


Can I finally fucking rest already??? I went and got my monthly shot. Ran into the RN from rehab and gave her a hi and a hug. Came home for a quick lunch of leftovers then ma and I were off. Oi...


Another long morning/afternoon of errands. When I finally got home I kicked off my shoes for my house shoes again and stripped from a T-shirt to a tank top. Kept that injured foot elevated the r...


December 26, 2023

Beat Like A Dead Horse in Hello

Two milestones today. 60 days sober. Last day of outpatient. 🥳 🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳 Been on the go most of the day. Outpatient this morning then driving mom to her coworker’s (late) Christmas soiree this afte...


December 25, 2023

Ode-Ness in Hello

Dream of your embrace Taste you upon my lips Warm my soul Fire up my belly Want you Need you Can’t have you Your comfort in the night You bring the hood And you bring the bad Joyous eyes Hideous ...


December 25, 2023

Merry X-Mas! in Hello

Yeah yeah, Christmas, woo! Finally mustered up the courage and gave the female clerk my number. Married with three kids…never wears a wedding band. Bah! Anyways, y’all gather ‘round loved ones,...


December 24, 2023

X-Mas Eve in Hello

I just finished The Book Thief. Bittersweet ending. I did enjoy it but it’s so sad in some parts. It’s Christmas Eve and ma and I have done nothing but sit around. Me with my book, her with Hall...


Restaurants trigger my addiction. Had nothing to cook for dinner so mom and I ended up at Longhorn’s tonight. Just looking at the drinks menu made me brain tingle a bit. Seeing the servers bri...


December 22, 2023

Alcohol Commercials in Hello

The Jim Beam one where the whole bar is singing Sweet Caroline. Stop that! I like that song… Then there is the super creepy Guinness commercial for the zero alcohol version. The foam in the be...


December 21, 2023

Hrm (Updated) in Hello

Middle brother got mom a new TV as a surprise Christmas gift. Only problem is the HDMI cable he gave us was bad and I really don’t feel like braving holiday shoppers to get a new one right now. ...


December 19, 2023

I Swear To God... in Hello

I’ll shoot myself if I turn on the PS3 for more Fallout today. I’ve been playing that WAY too much lately. I am in a somber state today. Reread an entry I wrote on Dec. 18th from a few years ...


December 18, 2023

Moan Complain Gripe in Hello

So, my Internet has been down right? The power light was blinking so after some internet sleuthing I had to order a new power adapter. Modem works fine now but will not connect to the Internet s...


December 18, 2023

The Lost Sunday in Hello

Late Saturday night…Sunday morning??? Anyways, I took a sleeping pill and crashed out watching TV. With the exception of walking up to pee then again for dinner I slept all day and night finall...


But it helps! 1:31 AM Did the dinner with fam tonight. My middle brother and his gf were out due to COVID. I met my cousin’s new, “friend.” He seems nice, a bit quiet. Cousin’s daughter was t...


December 16, 2023

Fiddy Daze in Hello

50 days sober!!! Let’s boogie!


December 15, 2023

My Eyes Burn in Hello

I already put in drops earlier, still burning. Ugh. Picked up mom at 2 PM. We had to ride to Publix for a few ingredients for the two dishes she’s making for the family dinner. I stopped in at...


December 15, 2023

6:31 AM (Update) in Hello

Kept dozing off last night a little after midnight. Smokey was asleep in my lap keeping me warm hence my extreme comfort. Finally got the energy to kick off my shoes and pants and was quickly as...


Mk, I had a few questions in my last entry both public and private about my sobriety so I figure I’ll address them. No, I have no intention of drinking again. Because I had my stint in rehab I’d ...


My favorite doughnut. Had one after dinner. Speaking of unhealthy diets, I’m trying to ease up on the candy. I have massive sugar cravings at night. You see, night time was my (heavy) drinking ...


December 10, 2023

Sunday Was Pointless in Hello

Dozed on and off from like 3 AM till 5 AM till I had to take mom to work. No drug test so got a crappy sleep from like 10 till 3 in the afternoon. Got mom at 6. Went to the Chinese buffet for ...


Does your family send out Christmas cards? Used to. Most of the extended family has all passed away. How soon do you start shopping? December 1st Who do you shop for? Mom mostly. I’ll usually g...


December 09, 2023

I Don't Want To Get Drunk in Hello

But I just want a few beers right now However… One turns to two, two turns to four, four turns to liquor, liquor turns to me crawling on the floor. I’m not even that much of a beer guy. Guinn...


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