J.E. ⋅ 41

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

Philip K. Dick

Entries 1,617

Page 3 of 65

But I was dreamin’ of you… Stephanie, I miss her. Eric, I miss my best friend. In my dream they cut contact with me so they could date and not hurt my feelings. In reality Steph became a bartend...

Yup, been up over 24 hours again. Insomnia sucks. Phone says it’s 18F out. I really wanted to drink the loneliness away last night. After I wrote yesterday’s entry I got lost in thought, yet aga...

January 20, 2024

Body And Soul, I'm A Freak in Hello

The Silverchair song Freak got stuck in my head earlier. There was an ex who was obsessed with that band. If all went, “according to plan,” we would have probably ended up married. Instead I r...

Between sweet tea and water I have consumed a lot of liquid tonight. Seems like every ten minutes I have to pee. The salad and steak was awesome tonight. I’ve gotten in the habit of putting a s...

January 18, 2024

Sleep, Plz? in Hello

I’m beat. Been up off and on since about six this morning. It finally happened, I went to the liquor store twice. In search of a freakin’ pack of Al Capone’s that is! I’m craving a cigarillo. ...

January 16, 2024

Sammich N Pretzels in Hello

When we went to pick up food Saturday night for the big freeze, I wish I took the initiative and got more than dinner foods. All I have for lunches/snacks are ham sandwich meat, soups and pretze...

January 15, 2024

Have You Seen My Testicles? in Hello

They froze off. I’ve got the drafty spots in the doors plugged with sheets and dish towels. It’s 11:10 AM and 25F out. Smokey in my lap, space heater on and I’m fully dressed. Normally I’d jus...

January 14, 2024

You Ever Have That Moment in Hello

I was walking into the kitchen after finishing off some butterscotch pudding. Not paying attention I tossed the spoon into the garbage can and the container into the sink 🤦‍♂️ My sleeping sched...

January 11, 2024

Your Favourite Little Rascal? in Hello

Very tired. Slept a few hours this afternoon but then I was pestered by mom to do I’ve her to the store. Seriously, what was the point of her eye surgeries? I got to craving hardcore. Tried ta...

January 11, 2024

Paper Towns in Hello

I just finished the John Green novel Paper Towns. For a book aimed at teenagers it was really deep. Bittersweet ending. Definitely one that’s going to have me in my head, thinking the rest of t...

January 11, 2024

Frigidly Cold in Hello

It’s only 33 F out but it’s the kinda cold that’ll blister your face. Go figure my hip has been hurting because of which. Mom isn’t feeling so well either. I take a butter knife and an old sh...

January 10, 2024

I Don't Feel So Good in Hello

No, I didn’t drink last night. Yet my stomach still feels uneasy. I hate dealing with nausea. Maybe I really shouldn’t be watching Andrew Zimmern eating frogs… 🤢🤮

January 09, 2024

White Knuckle Ride in Hello

I want booze tonight. Badly. Fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis

January 09, 2024

RIP in Hello

Butters the Bean is a YouTube channel that follows the daily exploits of a orange and white tabby cat from Pennsylvania. I’ve been subscribed for years. Poor Butters passed away today. Truly a s...

So… Tired… My sleep schedule has been absolute shite lately. I slept in till AFTER 7 PM last night. Even went to bed early(ish) for me. I stayed up all night to try and correct it so here I am...

January 07, 2024

Good Eatin' in Hello

Ritz crackers, cayenne hot sauce and sardines. I’ve been in a mood today. Er… that’s not right. My mind is in another place and I can’t figure out where that is. I’m kinda wanting to get outsi...

January 05, 2024

Another Sobriety Post in Hello

70 days sober or 30 away from 100 days. It really doesn’t feel like it. Where’d the time go? Hours later… My mouth is on 🔥! Ate a sandwich of buffalo chicken and garlic bologna with Zapp’s Hott...

Guess I should write this out before I forget. Had a really strange dream. I was dealing with legal crap again, my dad was in it with some drunk I didn’t know and two law firms that were represe...

69 days sober!

69 days sober!

January 03, 2024

Old Pussy in Hello

My cat’s Rosie and Lily are getting old. Rosie has a noticeable limp in her front right leg that I’m sure is arthritis. She’s twelve. Lily just wants to sleep in my lap now every chance she gets...

January 03, 2024

Old Pussy in Hello

My cat’s Rosie and Lily are getting old. Rosie has a noticeable limp in her front right leg that I’m sure is arthritis. She’s twelve. Lily just wants to sleep in my lap now every chance she gets...

January 01, 2024

January 1st, 2024 in Hello

Slept in today till one. Felt awesome. I did some chores today and have read a lot. Book three in the Esther Diamond series Unsympathetic Magic. Deals with struggling actress Esther and her mi...

I read a lot. Drank a lot. Had no sex a lot. Pissed off a judge a lot. I dunno, guess I’m thankful to be here on NYE sober. Yeah, that’s about it. I finished Three Days Missing half an hour ago...

December 30, 2023

Mucho Sleepy For This Dookie in Hello

Managed to crash for a few hours when we got home. I feel so much better, except now my throat is sore and sinuses hurt. Temp dropped and we’re expecting rain. 😑 Okay, let’s see…she had an X-r...

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