J.E. ⋅ 40

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

Philip K. Dick

Entries 1,456

Page 2 of 59

September 08, 2023

Mouth Was On Fire in Hello

4:30 AM. Gotta take mom to work in an hour. I ate the last two pieces of chicken from Popeyes while dipping it in Dreamland BBQ sauce. The heat in the sauce has a kick like a mule. After I ate...

September 07, 2023

It's Always Sunny In Philly in Hello

Munching on a Philly from Publix. Good dinner. So it did rain last night and got a bit cooler. I actually slept in my bed instead of the couch. Much cooler back there. It’s going to be super...

September 06, 2023

10:25 PM in Hello

And it’s fucking 80 degrees in the house. Luckily a cold front is moving in the week. Sweet relief.

September 06, 2023

Almost 4 AM in Hello

And it’s still uncomfortably warm in the house. I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight because of it. Only reason I slept any the last few days is because I got blackout drunk. I didn’t drink ...

September 05, 2023

Nommy Num Nums in Hello

Grilled burgers last night and boy o boy were they juicy! Tonight I grilled a rack of ribs. I’m nice and stuffed I missed group today, even emailed the counselor about relapsing. Glad I misse...

I even smoked my vape tonight. Maybe a year in jail is what I need.

September 04, 2023

FU AC in Hello

I feel like absolute shit. My throat is on fire, my body aches and pretty sure I have a fever. My AC really needs to start working again. Too bad it’s a holiday… And sleep, I’d kill for an unin...

September 03, 2023

Blues Brothers And Cocaine in Hello

Did you know they actually budgeted money for cocaine when filming The Blues Brothers? AC is on the fritz again… It’s friggin’ 80 F inside the house. 🔥 Popeye’s chicken for dinner tonight. Tryi...

September 01, 2023

Nap Sleep in Hello

Drove mom to get the tag for the new car. Stopped for some quick take out at China Taste. She wanted to take a quick nap after we ate and I said I’d wake her in two hours. Weeell…I fell asleep...

August 31, 2023

Triggered in Hello

Went to Guadalajara last night for dinner. Table across from us was pounding down a pitcher of beer and a fish bowl margarita. À Yup, triggered me. Yup, got alcohol. Yup, relapsed BUT!!! The s V...

August 30, 2023

It Means OK To Beerfest in Hello

Your cousin, from BAWS-TEN! I dunno what’s going on but I ache. Especially my friggin’ hip. It’s 4 AM and I’m still wide awake. I’m gonna email the counselor and take today off to rest up. My...

August 29, 2023

Chicky Bird Soup Stew in Hello

Mom made chicken stew tonight. It’s been a while since we’ve had it and I practically inhaled two bowls. We went out and about today after my group to get over cabin fever. Only issue is after...

August 29, 2023

I Want A Brownie in Hello

Called the color code hotline and I had to pee today. Get to the courthouse after group to find out they canceled all tests for the day. Wonderful waste of gas, thank you! I haven’t done shit...

The Simpsons, “Scuse Me While ai Miss The Sky,” on in the background. Boy did I sleep in today! Got up at 11 and ate breakfast. Dozed back off somewhere around noon and woke up after 3:30. Didn...

August 27, 2023

Crab Chowdah! in Hello

No, no recipe. Just Iron Chef America on in the background. My right thigh muscle feels super tight. No clue what happened. Hard to move around. (Hour later, it just dawned on me that I had t...

I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m just so fucking bummed out and I have no reason to be. This would be a day where I’d get a bottle of vodka and obliterate myself. But I’ve got a shot of Vivitrol sw...

Just polished off the last two slices of pizza. I’m still a bit hungry. Hip is still meh, but sitting with the heating pad situated on the sore spot. Gamed a few hours, took out one of the lie...

August 24, 2023

6:25 PM in Hello

Been inside my head since yesterday morning. Read some…disheartening information and I’ve been trying to process things. 🔪 ❤️ I have two weeks of group left Need to get on the ball and finish m...

96 F out Real Feel 108 F 2.25 miles walked 4,741 teps taken I’m now kicking back with a Strawberry Banana Bodyarmor superior hydration drink. My shoulders still feel hot and my knees are worn. ...

August 23, 2023

I'm Not Going Back To Sleep in Hello

Woke up with the alarm to check the color code line. No widdle test for be. I canceled yesterday’s appointment with the counselor. I’m just not comfortable talking with a stranger. Was going to...

August 22, 2023

Randoms Or The Men Go First in Hello

Halfway through group one of the other counselors came in and asked for all the guys to come out and the ladies wait in the next room. As soon as I heard that I knew we were getting a widdle tes...

Pretty sure my late night munchies kick in cause I drank at night. Seriously, I just polished off half a bag of Fritos with half a can of nacho cheese sauce. I’ll be feeling this in my gut come...

To all the notes from this mornings entry, thank you. It took a few hours but eventually I felt much better. Group was pretty cool. Self esteem was the topic. Drove mom to check on the insur...

August 21, 2023

Sad Face Emoji in Hello

I feel fucking awful. Currently sitting at group waiting on the counselor to come in. Mowed the yard yesterday in blistering heat and I think it caught up to me. Very tired, eyes bloodshot. Supe...

August 20, 2023

To All My California Peeps in Hello

Take care and be safe. Y’all are in my thoughts. Hurricane Hilary has made landfall.

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