Asocial_Chaos ⋅ 24
I'm a young wannabe artist and college student that doesn't want to grow up. I've been journaling for the last couple years on my computer, my phone, or on paper and I'd like to compile my thoughts in one easy place. When I write I tend to go into my most dramatic, emotional, and dark self. My life is fine, I cope well, and I have potential to thrive. I just think too much sometimes
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Not what I asked for but okay in Dream Journal
The last couple of weeks my erratic sleep patterns have become even more odd than usual, a few nights of feeling like I did not sleep at all followed by one or two nights of decent sleep. Last n...
Catching up in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
Man, it’s been a while. In the last few months, I’ve started posting thoughts as they come on twitter and taken to hand journalling the thoughts that I don’t want anyone to see. I might transcrib...
The infamous “demi-“ in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
I’m pretty openly asexual around my friends. I don’t come out to people but they seem to sense it about me pretty quickly. It’s fine and dandy no fuss, most of the time. One day a couple of weeks...
I'm not dead...physically in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
It’s been a while. I haven’t been dead, I haven’t been hiding in a cave, I’ve been in college. Which hasn’t been too far off from hiding away. This year, I’d like to finish my transfer degree, so...
Home Sick in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
Just a side note: I post art online under a couple of different pseudonyms. I’d like to keep them separate from this, but my art is also really important to me and something I’d like to share. So...
Chaotic Order in Dream Journal
It’s been a while since I’ve tried writing about dreams. It’s really tough, especially if your dreams don’t make any sense. But lying here in bed, I realized that I did in fact dream last night. ...
For some reason, a bunch of videos about asexuality have been showing up on my youtube feed and watching them makes me feel more solid about my own orientation. I don’t talk about it a lot but I ...
I like to make them happy in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
The last few days have been really good. So good in fact that normal starts to feel a little sad. But I’ll try to not linger on that and just remember the good. Let’s start with last Tuesday. I ...
Funny, isn't it? in Letters I'll Never Send
L, Funny, isn’t it? That I wanted to start these letters because of you. That you made me so frustrated that I needed to immortalize you after just a few weeks. Don’t think I forgot about you tho...
Don't cry for me in Poetry
Don’t cry for me If I maintain my suffering I can at least be proud. You are not responsible for my happiness You are not responsible for my happiness You make me happy. Don’t cry for me You mea...
You call me swirl as I twist my curls around my finger Don’t let your heels touch the floor I’ll never satisfy you but I’ll make you think I might just be the girl of your nightmares I want to wa...
Affection or Deception in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
I’ve been listening to a lot of Marina and the Diamonds lately. And thinking too much, of course. I took a look at my astrological natal chart again and found that my “120 conjunction sun” is in...
Lonely in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
Gosh I am so tired. Tired of having grand hopes and plans and just not doing them. Tired of waking up in the middle of the night to sounds that should have stopped bothering me years ago. Tired o...
Ugh in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
I’ve been meaning to write for a while. I even got around to making a couple of drafts but I never finished. When I have something to write about I like to do it all in one go otherwise I lose it...
Maternal Power in Letters I'll Never Send
Mom, I’m so happy that we are at that “friends” stage. There was a time when I wasn’t sure it would ever happen, but here we are 18 years after I met you and I actually enjoy your company. But ...
A letter I'll never send in Letters I'll Never Send
Q, I’ve written about you at least a hundred times but I haven’t written your name. If you were ever to read this you’d think I was crazy. Maybe I am. You were nice to me. And I appreciate that. ...
The 5th of July in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
Probably a lot of entries coming in today huh. Holidays always bring about a lot of thinking I suppose. Every year the fourth makes me more and more sad. The fourth of July is my mother’s clean...
Where is the breaking point? in Therapy
God everything just seems to be getting worse and worse. I keep thinking about how much better I was doing and how the last couple of years were totally unexpected in the best way. I had hope tha...
Time wasted planning in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
It’s been a minute. I keep half writing things or writing on paper but nothing comes of it. I prefer writing on my computer since I can lmao type a quickly as I can think but of course, I want to...
Stressin' Already in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
I’ve been out of school for the last four days and I’m already overwhelmingly stressed about the next year. I woke up at 6:30 this morning in a bout of anxiety concerning my financial aid. Now I’...
06-14-18 in Dream Journal
I only remember fragments from last night’s dreams. I usually get a lot of details but that wasn’t really the case this time. The first dream I remember was at the mall. I used to have dreams abo...
Fate-06-15-18 in Poetry
The hands of fate, they twist and pull at me. But I quickly turn down a forgotten road in hopes that I might break free. Although, I can’t help but wonder if the strings are still there, just out...
Math and it's Problems in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
I have a math final tomorrow and it’s on my mind. I’ve been trying to actually study for once, which is quite the task. Now I like math and I’m pretty good at it. I’m taking this class for ‘fun’,...
Ctrl Z in Daily Thoughts, Ideas, and Experiences
I think it’s pretty normal to wish I could go back in time and redo things. None of us are perfect and it would make things so much easier if we could do them knowing what we will come to know la...
I’ve been so darn emotionally drained lately. My standard emotion is numb, but it’s been eating at me the last few days. I don’t know if it’s because I was so happy and excited not too long ago o...