Numb in Therapy

I’ve been so darn emotionally drained lately. My standard emotion is numb, but it’s been eating at me the last few days. I don’t know if it’s because I was so happy and excited not too long ago or if I’ve just been thinking too much. But it really sucks.
I don’t cry. It is so incredibly rare for me to actually cry from emotional pain. But right now I would love to cry. Preferably into someone’s chest, but I suppose a pillow sprayed with cologne would do as well. It’s sad that that’s what it takes for me to fall asleep at night, although I don’t have the luxury to exhaust myself with tears.
Speaking of sleep, that’s all I’ve wanted to do for the last week. I’ve noticed that my body doesn’t actually need much sleep; if I’m in bed for more than 7 hours I actually feel more groggy. But sleep is such a great escape. I can think before bed and enter a unique world. I dream of such stupid things but I don’t have them in real life. I literally keep bottles of essential oils, perfumes, and cologne next to my bed to create these fantasies. Like I said, they’re stupid things. Things I’d be embarrassed to talk about but nothing lewd or dark. I just want to be able to do things without thinking, you know? I want to feel loved and spontaneous. Heck at this point, I’d like to feel genuinely sad.
Being emotionally drained means it doesn’t take much for me to feel a lot at once. It’s like an empty, dry hole in the ground. It craves water so badly that one drop feels like a flood. But as soon as it drops down it gets absorbed. And it festers. I hate being mad but it’s better than nothing I guess.
I just want my stupid teen drama before I turn 20 is that too much to ask for? I want to have the highest highs and fall to the lowest lows and be able to actually write about the things that are happening instead of just writing about hypotheticals.
I should do some homework. I’ve actually done some work but I shouldn’t leave it all for tomorrow. But I might just sleep instead even though I’ve been sat here all day.